Ann Landers, well-known advice columnist, is retiring. Her last column runs on Saturday.

So what's a girl to do with her spare time? You tell me. Judging Thursday or Friday or whenever I get around to it.

Here are a few starter images. Feel free to find your own, as well.

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...Trot and Cap'n Bill were free from anxiety and care. Button-Bright never worried about anything. The Scarecrow, not being able to sleep, looked out of the window and tried to count the stars.

She would be intimidating at the library.

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"You'll burn for this. Burn in jail!"

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"You'll burn for this. Burn in jail!"

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"Oh, look, a joke! How original! Thank you, but if I wanted my emotions stimulated pleasurably, I'd get a whore." - Donald B. Jones III

I wonder what it means that this caught my eye.

I wish I had time to photochop her facial parts onto a potato.

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"Jelly-belly gigglin, dancin and a-wigglin, honey that's the way I am!" Janice the Muppet

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There are 10 types of people in the world: those who understand binary and those who don't

Nice! I was running short on new imagery for my nightmares.

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"You'll burn for this. Burn in jail!"

There. Now I can move on.

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"Jelly-belly gigglin, dancin and a-wigglin, honey that's the way I am!" Janice the Muppet

Oh come ON you people.

I\\\'m surprised someone hasn\\\'t submitted the naked Ann Landers nightmare yet.

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...Trot and Cap'n Bill were free from anxiety and care. Button-Bright never worried about anything. The Scarecrow, not being able to sleep, looked out of the window and tried to count the stars.

Im at a loss for ideas.

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Batman created by Bob Kane

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This signature has performed an illegal operation and has been shut down.

Judgement!

(Sorry, I've watch too many episodes of Iron Chef.)

Okay, Nate came really close with Ann the Librarian, but the prize goes to the_rew for creating the nightmare Ann Wirthling.

Take it away, rew!

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...Trot and Cap'n Bill were free from anxiety and care. Button-Bright never worried about anything. The Scarecrow, not being able to sleep, looked out of the window and tried to count the stars.

I thought Ann Landers was dead.

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Dad was flammable

Turns out she is.

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Dad was flammable

Ooops.

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...Trot and Cap'n Bill were free from anxiety and care. Button-Bright never worried about anything. The Scarecrow, not being able to sleep, looked out of the window and tried to count the stars.

The old girl kick recently? There would have been no end of possibilities if I'd known that her retirement was only a metaphor for something of far greater comic value.

And if I'd had a picture of her rotting corpse to work with.

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"You'll burn for this. Burn in jail!"

Ha ha ha, you sick bastards, if only I'd read this thread when it was first posted I could have enlightened you to the tragic/hilarious truth.

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Dad was flammable

DexX was right! She could be a demon in the afterlife!

...But she's got no demon boobs!

'S O.K., fuzzyman. I thought George Harrison was getting married a few weeks ago.
Thanks, I don't feel so silly now... : )

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“It is only with the heart that one sees rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye.” - The Little Prince by Antoine de Saint-Exupéry (1945)

I have a feeling Ann died so she could marry George. Fuzzyman: any confirmation in any of those tabloids you have access to? :-)

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ken.kaufman@gmail.com

Stranger than you think...

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...Trot and Cap'n Bill were free from anxiety and care. Button-Bright never worried about anything. The Scarecrow, not being able to sleep, looked out of the window and tried to count the stars.

Class.

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Dad was flammable