Only on Thursdays.

Will you marry me?

No, but I'll have wild monkey sex with you.

How many Gay Mexican Chickens does it take to screw Anna Nicole Smith?

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I has a flavor!

It really, really depends on which version of Anna Nicole we're talking about.

Will Ivy marry me?

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The giant three-phallused phallus of Uzbekistan will one day squirt the cosmic jizz of revenge all over Canada.

Sure, but I get to butt sex her before the wedding.

How many licks does it take to satisfy MMeyer's wild lust for tootsie rolls?

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"AthiestDiary, you rock." - MikeyG (I'm LOVED! HOORAH!)

Deaah... I-i-i-III don't know... but I janked a joe the other day... and eh.... deaaahh.... 41.

Say there, Tom. Do you want to go see a MOOVIE?

Who the hell is Tom, and FUCK YOU for asking!

When you wish upon a star, do you ever get that not so fresh feeling?

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"AthiestDiary, you rock." - MikeyG (I'm LOVED! HOORAH!)

Yes. Wishing upon a star makes my anus feel dirty. And I never wash the thing.

Who do you think is going to win the current CC?

Batman.

Would you like to pet my poopie?

Get that fucking poopie away from me.

Does anyone want the rest of this bag of potato chips?

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I will rate you hard, and unendingly.

As long as there's no salt added. It's ooky.

Speaking of, what in the fucking china cabinet is that chartreuse thing hanging out of your nose?

That would be one of those little plastic party toothpicks that come in day-glow colors. I stuffed it up my nose just to see if I could get the hostess to vomit up her hours d'vours.

Why the hell is it spelled hours d'vours whenever you only pronounce it "Or-Durves"?

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I will rate you hard, and unendingly.

Cause the french are frog fuckers and like fucking with your head (your other head, pervert ... yes, the one between your legs)

What does Aardvark taste like?

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"AthiestDiary, you rock." - MikeyG (I'm LOVED! HOORAH!)

Aardvark taste like everyone else taste -- by licking things.

What is the strangest thing you've ever licked?

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Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

Yo mama.

What would Brian Boitano lick?

Probably Scott Hamilton.

Tito, Jermaine, or Randy?

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The giant three-phallused phallus of Uzbekistan will one day squirt the cosmic jizz of revenge all over Canada.

Tito. Makes me giggle.

If you went to South Africa to buy various dessicated animal heads, where would be the best place to put them?

NOT in your butt. Someone else's is fine, though.

Do ya wanna dance?

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The giant three-phallused phallus of Uzbekistan will one day squirt the cosmic jizz of revenge all over Canada.

Only if we're dancing the hora.

Are you tired of playing second fiddle to a two-bit wrestleman and a yellow dog?

NONE of that question rhymes with "whipporwil".

Where are we?

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The giant three-phallused phallus of Uzbekistan will one day squirt the cosmic jizz of revenge all over Canada.

You don't have the security clearance for the answer to that question.

So what burns burns burns when you go down into it?

I think it might be possums' jock strap, but I sure as hell won't be the one testing it.

Ivy, when are the Ivytopian forces going to conquer my heart?

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The giant three-phallused phallus of Uzbekistan will one day squirt the cosmic jizz of revenge all over Canada.

My name is Ethan, and no.

Would you like to see a grown man naked, Timmy?

Not really. They're rather silly-looking.

Should I conquer MikeyG's heart or turn him into a sex slave?

Conquer his sex slave, then go for the jugular.

Did that guy over there just pick his nose?

No, he picked his butt. He went spelunking for artifacts in his fucking nose.

Where, oh where, can my...baby be?

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The giant three-phallused phallus of Uzbekistan will one day squirt the cosmic jizz of revenge all over Canada.