... gobble down, while kneeling on a sticky floor, in front of a gloryhole, in a dingy booth, at ...

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"Nothing expresses the brutal grandeur of rectal polyps and anal fistulae quite like the mother-tongue of Goethe."

...the time you noticed that the word "flaccid" is only used to refer to...

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"Only things I approve of should exist." -some guy on the internet

...wirthling...

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...Trot and Cap'n Bill were free from anxiety and care. Button-Bright never worried about anything. The Scarecrow, not being able to sleep, looked out of the window and tried to count the stars.

...which, much like the universe, is projected to expand forever...

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"You'll burn for this. Burn in jail!"

...much like my ass, which...

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I am a delicate fucking flower. https://beacons.ai/jesskent

...smells like ass, whilst mine smells of lily-of-the-valley, but please disregard the insinuation that my ass is as wide as a valley here, since...

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“It is only with the heart that one sees rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye.” - The Little Prince by Antoine de Saint-Exupéry (1945)

...it's merely as wide as a buick, which is a respectable width when compared to a valley, or even a...

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I am a delicate fucking flower. https://beacons.ai/jesskent

...ravine, but I beg to differ as to my ass being as wide as a Buick, it's more like the width of a BMw, far to expensive to ride in carelessly, however...

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“It is only with the heart that one sees rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye.” - The Little Prince by Antoine de Saint-Exupéry (1945)

...it also boasts leather upholstry, plenty of trunk space, high mileage, an am-fm stereo, and of course a "stick shift", which is convenient when...

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peddling the funny around since 09/24/2002

....you find it necessary to shift someone's stick because he....

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What others say about boorite!

...has only hit well with Aluminum Bats, leading scouts to wonder whether his offense will translate to the major leagues, and causing his stock in the draft to...

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I has a flavor!

....bite the weenie, as they say in....

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What others say about boorite!

sausage factory initiation parties, which are not unlike Friday evenings at ...

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ken.kaufman@gmail.com

...Gabe Billing's basement, which...

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"And Wirthling isn't worth the paper he isn't printed on."

...is improperly punctuated but nevertheless is known for...

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"And Wirthling isn't worth the paper he isn't printed on."

...the highest turnout of animals ever in a party, including...

twelve cocks a crowing, eleven rhinos charging, ten manti preying, nine chimps dung-flinging, eight lemurs leming, seven pigeons stooling, six salmon spawning, five golden retrievers, four koala bears, three french poodles, two turkey vultures, and a partridge in a pear tree, which would constantly ...

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ken.kaufman@gmail.com

...tell bad puns to...

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...Trot and Cap'n Bill were free from anxiety and care. Button-Bright never worried about anything. The Scarecrow, not being able to sleep, looked out of the window and tried to count the stars.

...kaufman, who came up with the gem "Eau de Humanity", a cologne often used by great flaming..

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Jesus saves, but everyone else in a 10 foot radius takes full damage from the fireball.

...pyres for...

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peddling the funny around since 09/24/2002

...warding off the WereSpankling who...

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Please replace the handset, and try again.

...wears Eau de Manboobs, which is far more fragrant than Eau de Humanity, and sells better than Eau de Teen Spirit because...

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...Trot and Cap'n Bill were free from anxiety and care. Button-Bright never worried about anything. The Scarecrow, not being able to sleep, looked out of the window and tried to count the stars.

... it is made with copius amounts of mansauce, just like mom used to ...

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"Nothing expresses the brutal grandeur of rectal polyps and anal fistulae quite like the mother-tongue of Goethe."

...soak in Eau de Mansauce de Eau, which is famous for...

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peddling the funny around since 09/24/2002

...its almost imperceptible odor, because it's simply loaded with mansauce pheromones which, as everyone knows, are irresistible, especially when under the influence of 5 screaming bottles of Chateau Neuf de Pape and...

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“It is only with the heart that one sees rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye.” - The Little Prince by Antoine de Saint-Exupéry (1945)