Guess I'll just have to rejoin the GUU then.[/quote]

Things aren't quite that desperate.

Och, lads, ah boaked on me trainers.

---
What others say about boorite!

Aye, that ye did.

---
What others say about boorite!

You just havent got this Scottish thing covered yet .

I can tell.

"Boaked , Trainers"/ Yep. Spot on

"Och". Is a word used solely by those of a Northern persuasion , usually farm or fish factory workers , to disguise their lack of vocabulary.

That , or their well recognized speech impediment (that of a Northern Scottish accent)

---
"Life Sucks, Then you Die. The bit inbetween isnt very funny either"

So what would I say? Oy?

---
What others say about boorite!

i believe any commonly used expletive would be appropriate.

Now , if youre doing that gag based on someone from Edinburgh , every sentence has to be a mini version of Was and Peace.

"Oh dear god in heaven , i have , quite by accident i must profess , vomited upon that which i love , my pristine white training shoes , which , i may add , are training shoes like no other on sale in Jenners."

---
"Life Sucks, Then you Die. The bit inbetween isnt very funny either"

Is "fook" OK?

---
What others say about boorite!

Sounds Geordie to me.

If you wish to blatantly slag off Glasgows poor literacy rate , you could simple misspell all the expletives.

Or just keep reading my posts. Theres not much of a difference.

---
"Life Sucks, Then you Die. The bit inbetween isnt very funny either"

I'd be more likely to use "fock" than "fook" for a Scots accent, Lowland anyway. The famous Highland Scots actually sound more Irish than Scottish, which I find fascinating. Unfortunately, there aren't very many of them left, as they were targetted by the English for a jolly little spot of genocide, what ho chaps, as they were more resistant to English control than the Lowlanders. The Lowlanders tend to think (Andy, Kev, backup?) that the Highlanders are a bit slow and simple, or so I have read.

I will stop regurgitating last semester's linguistics essay now.

---
This signature has performed an illegal operation and has been shut down.

[quote]I'd be more likely to use "fock" than "fook" for a Scots accent, Lowland anyway. The famous Highland Scots actually sound more Irish than Scottish, which I find fascinating. Unfortunately, there aren't very many of them left, as they were targetted by the English for a jolly little spot of genocide, what ho chaps, as they were more resistant to English control than the Lowlanders. The Lowlanders tend to think (Andy, Kev, backup?) that the Highlanders are a bit slow and simple, or so I have read.

I will stop regurgitating last semester's linguistics essay now.[/quote]

Like all the Americans I know here in Sydney, you seem to have learned all you know about Scottish history from watching 'Braveheart'. (And probably all you know about contemporary Scotland from 'Trainspotting'.)

---
Worldwide Front for Islamic Jihad against Jews, Crusaders and Naughty Monkeys

I went to a Scottish restaurant a few years ago and boy did it suck. Stale bread, mushy peas (they're peas that are mushy) and fish. The fish wasn't really that bad, I just can't get very excited about fish for whatever reason.

---
www.bradsucks.net

I went to a Scottish restaurant a few years ago and boy did it suck. Stale bread, mushy peas (they're peas that are mushy) and fish. The fish wasn't really that bad, I just can't get very excited about fish for whatever reason. [/quote]

Was this a Scottish themed restaurant , or were you actually in Scotland , and went to a Fish restaurant?

---
"Life Sucks, Then you Die. The bit inbetween isnt very funny either"

[quote]
If you wish to blatantly slag off Glasgows poor literacy rate , you could simple misspell all the expletives.
[/quote]

I used to know a guy, back in high school, who was convinced "shit" was spelt with a c. So he kept writing "chit" on things thinking he was well cool, not realising he was just pretty much writing "Receipt! Receipt!" on everything.

[quote][quote]
If you wish to blatantly slag off Glasgows poor literacy rate , you could simple misspell all the expletives.
[/quote]

I used to know a guy, back in high school, who was convinced "shit" was spelt with a c. So he kept writing "chit" on things thinking he was well cool, not realising he was just pretty much writing "Receipt! Receipt!" on everything.[/quote]

IN retrospect , this one was pretty dumb.

In English class , a guy from another class who had been majorly pissing me off for many months , was unfortunate enough to have his jotter as the one on the top of the pile which sat on the table in front of me. For some reason , i was overcome with the notion that i would be somehow "Getting Back" at this guy by writing "Penis" and doing large penis/testicle drawings on every page of his jotter. Thinking only he and i would ever know , and he wouldnt know it was me , i left class that day , assuming i was in the clear.

It was only when , 3 days later , i was pulled up during a Maths lesson , dragged out of class and down to the english department in order that i could be given a dressing down by the teacher , who had correctly surmised i was the culprit. However , once i got there , and saw the other kid in question , i realised he must have been given the third degree by the teacher as to why he has been drawing Penises all over his jotters when he should have been learning Shakespeare.

And i felt a twinge of satisfaction at this.

---
"Life Sucks, Then you Die. The bit inbetween isnt very funny either"

Where the fuck did that little barb come from?

1) I'm Australian, in Melbourne.

2) I am approaching the end of my second year of a BA, majoring in linguistics and philsophy.

3) I studied a pile of books literally as high as my knee to write a major essay (30% of total subject mark) on the Lowland Scots dialect of English.

No, I'm not an authority by any means, but I am hardly the ignorant twit you seem to be suggesting I am. As such, please go grab a copy each of Braveheart and Trainspotting and shove them up your arse.

---
This signature has performed an illegal operation and has been shut down.

You know, this reminds me of how I always wonder how the hell they pronounce "shit" over there when I see it written as "shite."

---
"Only things I approve of should exist." -some guy on the internet

You pronounce it just the way it's written: like "kite", only with an "sh" at the start instead of a "k". But we can say "shit", too.

[Click to view comic: 'Thanks to arrandildocompany for this clever jest']

I don't know about slow and simple, but they have a reputation for having, shall we say, inappropriate liasions with their sheep. I believe the Australians (and the Welsh) are suspected of similar perversions. Also, the Highlands contain the only pocket of Christian fundamentalism in the UK, which is always good for a laugh.

I think DexX was referring to the Highland clearances. I don't see why that implies a poor knowledge of Scottish history.

[quote]
Like all the Americans I know here in Sydney, you seem to have learned all you know about Scottish history from watching 'Braveheart'. (And probably all you know about contemporary Scotland from 'Trainspotting'.)[/quote]

I'm sure Dexx is up to snuff on his Scottish knowledge. I, on the other hand, learned everything I know about Scotland from Braveheart and Trainspotting, not to mention Mike Myers. He is a central repository of all things Scottish.

And while we're on the subject, I learned everything I know about Australia from Crocodile Dundee and one Simpson's episode. (I know you still dole out justice in the form of kicking people with giant boots.)

Everything I know about the former Soviet Union was gleaned from James Bond movies and Rocky 4.

I know nothing about Denmark except that's where Legos come from.

Scandinavia makes good cell phones and elves.

Kamchatka is important if you're playing Risk.

Japan is probably going to invade us one of these days. Tom Clancy said so.

The Godfather trilogy covered everything I'll ever need to know about Italians.

Hmmm... that's about the extent of my world knowledge. I really should have stopped falling asleep in school.

---
100 pounds of shit in a 25 pound sack.

---
"And Wirthling isn't worth the paper he isn't printed on."

i thought they were made in the netherlands

---
Who knows what fear lurks in the hearts of men? MIKE BOBSICO KNOWS! And if you give him a decent tip when he delivers your mail , he might tell you.

In The Score, Robert Duvall says "that'll gie ye a case o' the boak".
This is amusing.

[quote]In The Score, Robert Duvall says "that'll gie ye a case o' the boak".
This is amusing.[/quote]

The Score? I didnt know Duvall was in that. I thought he was in "A Shot at Glory".

Feel free to correct me , as i havent seen either movie yet , and i dont plan on watching Ally 'Score' again.

---
"Life Sucks, Then you Die. The bit inbetween isnt very funny either"

[quote][quote]In The Score, Robert Duvall says "that'll gie ye a case o' the boak".
This is amusing.[/quote]

The Score? I didnt know Duvall was in that. I thought he was in "A Shot at Glory".

Feel free to correct me , as i havent seen either movie yet , and i dont plan on watching Ally 'Score' again.[/quote]

Oops. You're right, I meant A Shot at Glory.
This will not look good on my CV.

[quote][quote][quote]In The Score, Robert Duvall says "that'll gie ye a case o' the boak".
This is amusing.[/quote]

The Score? I didnt know Duvall was in that. I thought he was in "A Shot at Glory".

Feel free to correct me , as i havent seen either movie yet , and i dont plan on watching Ally 'Score' again.[/quote]

Oops. You're right, I meant A Shot at Glory.
This will not look good on my CV.[/quote]

This will remain between you , me , and anyone else reading this public noticeboard.

---
"Life Sucks, Then you Die. The bit inbetween isnt very funny either"