This fawn tastes funny.

You ATE your fawn!?

I was hungry.

You're a sick person. Why the hell would you go to a fawn care site if you're just going to eat it?

I thought you might have some tips on how to prepare it.

I can't believe you'd do something like that to an innocent fawn.

Oh, and I suppose you rescue fawns out of the goodness of your own heart.

Yes. Well that and the fact that deer turn me on.

And I'm the sick one?

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"Oh, look, a joke! How original! Thank you, but if I wanted my emotions stimulated pleasurably, I'd get a whore." - Donald B. Jones III

The fawn refuses to rub the lotion on its skin and put it in the basket.

Eat its liver with some fava beans and a nice chianti.

My fawn's engine is making an odd rattling noise and sometimes stalls at traffic lights.

Lift off the top of its skull and see if there is a black residue on the sparkplugs. If so, clean them with some WD-40 and see if that fixes it. Your fawn may also need a simple tune up.

I lifted the top of my fawn's skull off, but I didn't get a chance to look for sparkplugs, as it suddenly started convulsing and spraying blood and brain matter all over the room.

Don't worry - if the stains are still wet, soak them with soapy water, then place several folded towels on top of the stain, with a brick on top. This will draw the stain out of the carpet.

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This signature has performed an illegal operation and has been shut down.

The fawn keeps crashing.

Make sure you have the most recent version (Fawn 1.1.3) and that all of it's drivers are up to date.

The fawn just turned blue and died.

Try replacing your Microsoft Fawn with a Linux based Fawn. Or it could be choking. I'm not a doctor so I can't be sure.

The fawn gives me an "Insufficient space" error.

It won't fit in the microwave. Leave it in the backyard.

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"Oh, look, a joke! How original! Thank you, but if I wanted my emotions stimulated pleasurably, I'd get a whore." - Donald B. Jones III

My Fawn keeps giving an "illegal operation" message

Just stop doing what you are doing to it. Don't pretend you don't know.

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:\

[quote]The fawn is ticking.

Sonofabitch, that's a new one. Good luck.[/quote]No problem. Just cut the green wire.

It is pitch dark. You are likely to be eaten by a fawn.

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ken.kaufman@gmail.com

If I had any musical talent whatsoever I would have written songs. Since I didn't, I wrote poetry. I got published in a cheesy anthology book once, but don't know why. All my poems were the typical teenager-angst shit. They started with lines like:

There are lechers in the lullabies.

and

He enters the room of libidinous doom.

My buttcrack frowns just thinking about them.

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I ate a hooker half a bottle of knife.

My fawn! My fawn! My fawn is on fire!

We don't need no water let the motherfucker burn!

Seriously, it's on fire.

Oh, sorry. Thought we were having a moment.

Still burning.

Ok, right. Umm...how bout putting it out?

Thought of that, but with what? No water around and I can't get the bugger to stop drop and roll.

Hmmm...let's see. Do you have any Mr. Miyagi?

What the hell kind of question is that? What self-respecting camper doesn't? I always keep an extra Pat Morita in my knapsack.

Well, there's your answer. Have him do that clapping the hand together thing. Remember?

Shit, I completely forgot about that. Thanks man.

You betcha. Give Pat my best.

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I ate a hooker half a bottle of knife.

PAT KILLED THE FAWN!

What?

He went fucking postal on it!

That's Pat Morita you're talking about, mister.

I understand his respectability, not to mention the important part he's played in promoting and encouraging independent films, or his indispensable strength of character that serves as a role model to both asian actors, and the Unites States asian community as a whole, but I'm telling you he's skull-fucking the fawn right now!

On one leg, with his hands above his head in an impressive display of balance and inner tranquility?

Now that you mention it, yeah.

I love that guy.

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I ate a hooker half a bottle of knife.

The fawn has held the same alert posture for six hours and appears to be made of cement.

The fawn is a lawn ornament. Take him to a declining suburb.

The Fawn is shredding official documents and considering offers to pose nude for magazine pictorials.

You are Lt. Col. Oliver North. Lie to Congress about your illegal secret war and get your own radio show.

The fawn is seeking favor or attention by flattery and obsequious behavior.

The fawn is fawning.

[b]The wanton troopers riding by
Have shot my fawn, and it will die.[/b]

Now your sweet fawn is vanished to
Whither the swans and turtles go:
In fair Elysium to endure,
With milk-white lambs and ermins pure.
Burma Shave

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What others say about boorite!

My fawn keeps ringing.

Well, pick it up.

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ken.kaufman@gmail.com

I hope more than two people are old enough to get my Fawn Hall joke.

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What others say about boorite!

I got it. So you just need more than one more.

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ken.kaufman@gmail.com

I'm old enough. :)

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I am a delicate fucking flower. https://beacons.ai/jesskent

I got it. So you just need more than one more.[/quote]
*raises hand* Mental images of her with bulgy panties leaving the Whitehouse basement was the only good thing to come out of the Raygun years.

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"Jelly-belly gigglin, dancin and a-wigglin, honey that's the way I am!" Janice the Muppet

Ok, cool.

Now who's old enough to have ever seen a real Burma Shave sign?

(raises hand)

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What others say about boorite!

[quote]Ok, cool.

Now who's old enough to have ever seen a real Burma Shave sign?

(raises hand)[/quote]
YOU'LL HAVE TO TRAVEL
WIDE AND FAR
TO GET YOUR BLADE
FROM MYANMAR.
BURMA SHAVE

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ken.kaufman@gmail.com

[quote]Ok, cool.

Now who's old enough to have ever seen a real Burma Shave sign?

(raises hand)[/quote]
(raises hand) but they were faded.

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"Jelly-belly gigglin, dancin and a-wigglin, honey that's the way I am!" Janice the Muppet

[quote]Ok, cool.

Now who's old enough to have ever seen a real Burma Shave sign?

(raises hand)[/quote]

They have Burma Shave signs in the walkway tunnel that connects two subway stations in NYC. I think it's the 42nd street stop, but I could be wrong. The tunnel is extremely long, so it was nice to get a little chuckle to break the monotony of trudging between the trains.

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I am a delicate fucking flower. https://beacons.ai/jesskent

[quote]The fawn has held the same alert posture for six hours and appears to be made of cement.

The fawn is a lawn ornament. Take him to a declining suburb.

[/quote]

BWWAAAHHHHHHHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAH! AGHHHHRRR! Oh... Oh FUCK! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA Ohh.... oh shit

heh heh *OW* hahahahahaha

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I wanted my half in the middle and I wound up on the edge.

[ Posted comic does not exist ]

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I wanted my half in the middle and I wound up on the edge.

This thread is a prime example of what makes this forum great.

Its also a prime example of what happens when a bunch of very sick people are given keyboards.

I dont think ive laughed this hard since Bambi's mother was shot.

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"Life Sucks, Then you Die. The bit inbetween isnt very funny either"

Personally, I am a proponent of the "second hunter" theory. If you go through that sequence frame by frame, you can clearly see a coonskin cap and the tip of a rifle behind the grassy knoll.

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This signature has performed an illegal operation and has been shut down.

The fawn is white and bleating.

You have a sheep, go away.

The fawn is humping the neighbor's dog!

Let it slide brother.

The fawn is bleeding!

Yay!

THE FAWN IS BLEEDING!!

Yay!

FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, AND ALL THAT IS HOLY, THE FAWN IS BLEEDING!

Yay!

The fawn is here to protect you from the terrible secret of space.

Pak Chooie Unf.

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Do you want ants? Because that's how you get ants.

Okay...as a Texan, I can verify that thing about Fire Ants is true. There's even been a few cases where small children died from a fire ant attack. And if there is a flood in Texas...just pack up and move till the dust settles...fire ant mounds float and take over everything. Nasty little fuckers. Even John Wayne was scared of the Texas Fire Ant. Hell! I'm scared of them!!

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Women are fisher's of men because we all know.... The small ones you throw back. The medium ones you eat. The large ones you mount.

This fawn is a fire ant, what should I do?

You scare me.

But, but it's a fire ant, I swear!

Go away.

Mean bastard.

Damn straight.

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Do you want ants? Because that's how you get ants.