Ladies and Gentlemen , gather round. Its time to offer your sympathy to a regular.

Yes folks. Despite his high standing within the critic community , it appears that the Evening Times no longer rates Andy Dougan as "The Man" when it comes to film reviews. For the standout movie of the year , Harry Potter , the two page spread review was taken away from Andy , and give to local personality Elaine C Smith , thus denying Andy the pleasure of coming to terms with the whole Potter phenomenon , and writing a witty , yet subtly sarchastic critique of the movie.

I should point out that Elaine C Smiths major claim to fame is ...... playing the wife of Rab C Nesbitt in a long running comedy series.

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"Life Sucks, Then you Die. The bit inbetween isnt very funny either"

[quote]That other Christian-parody site, http://www.chick.com/, was not so friendly when I asked them to put up a parody warning. In fact, they were quite condescending and rude! ;)
[/quote]

Yes. That Chick is a master satirist.

[quote]Ladies and Gentlemen , gather round. Its time to offer your sympathy to a regular.

Yes folks. Despite his high standing within the critic community , it appears that the Evening Times no longer rates Andy Dougan as "The Man" when it comes to film reviews. For the standout movie of the year , Harry Potter , the two page spread review was taken away from Andy , and give to local personality Elaine C Smith [/quote]

I wouldn't take that shit.

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I wanted my half in the middle and I wound up on the edge.

I'm sure the real Andy Dougan got to see it as well.

Okay, I'm slightly confused now.

While I pride myself on usually knowing when someone/something is a joke, Betty's Harry Potter review didn't strike me as particularly spoof-ish.

Similarly, Those Chick Tracts (I've seen 'em around, too) are not spoofs -- though I'm guessing that paragraph was more tongue-in-cheek than anything else.

I read the Dark Dungeons one online (during the last mention of Chick), and I have to say I've NEVER been involved in any D&D sessions like the ones portrayed there. It's a *game*, for Pete's sake. If your character dies, you roll up another and try again. Sheesh.

And now I have to thank you all for putting me in such a serious mood. Now I can't snap at my coworkers in my usual jovial fashion.

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This is not my empire.

Read that Betty Bowers one again, flickguy, keeping in mind that it is a joke. Lots of stuff in it will jump out at you on a re-read:

- This woman claims to have sat down to a meal with a "very angry Jesus".

- "...there are few unsightly non-Caucasian children..."

The whole thing is a joke, though a very cleverly-written and disturbingly convincing one.

My crack about Jack Chick was a joke, though. He is a genuine, dyed-in-the-wool, diehard far-right-wing, fundie hatemonger. He seriously believes that screaming "YOU ARE A HELLBOUND SINNER!" in people's faces will make them convert, and you would be amazed at just how many groups fit into this category... AIDS victims, Jews, Muslims, roleplayers, homosexuals, Catholics, etc - he has a tract for every one of them. I think he is a walking, talking, drawing pile of filth who does nothing but poison the opinions of non-Christians about what real Christians are like. I wish him nothing but ill, and that is not something I say lightly.

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This signature has performed an illegal operation and has been shut down.

YES flickster, Betty Bowers is a total gag. Go to the root of the site and look around. I read an article a while back where she had an interview with god in her livingroom and had to remind him to use the coaster and thanked him for not bringing his son along.

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"Jelly-belly gigglin, dancin and a-wigglin, honey that's the way I am!" Janice the Muppet

*sigh*

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"And Wirthling isn't worth the paper he isn't printed on."

Take a look at the Jack Chick Parody Archive.

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...Trot and Cap'n Bill were free from anxiety and care. Button-Bright never worried about anything. The Scarecrow, not being able to sleep, looked out of the window and tried to count the stars.

Get in line with me, then.[/quote]

I want to read the Harry Potter series, but the books have been banned from libraries.

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"Only things I approve of should exist." -some guy on the internet

Get in line with me, then.[/quote]

I want to read the Harry Potter series, but the books have been banned from libraries.[/quote]

No shit?

Where?

Hyperreligious fucks are hated by God, you know. He's going to give them really crappy jobs in heaven. That'll teach 'em to do dumbass shit in his name.

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I am a delicate fucking flower. https://beacons.ai/jesskent

The movie rocked.

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100 pounds of shit in a 25 pound sack.

Did they re-shoot every scene mentioning the philosopher's stone, or did they just dub "sorcerer" over afterwards?

I think they said something along the lines of 'Fuck those faggy Brits. If they think we're changing the name of this movie just to suit them, they've got another thing coming. They can go fuck themselves up the ass with a broom.'

So they just left in 'sorcerer's'.

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100 pounds of shit in a 25 pound sack.

[Click to view comic: 'Coming To A Pub Near You']

Everything I make seems to contain cat fur. I call it house character.

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"Nothing expresses the brutal grandeur of rectal polyps and anal fistulae quite like the mother-tongue of Goethe."

[quote][quote]

I want to read the Harry Potter series, but the books have been banned from libraries.[/quote]

No shit?[/quote]

None at all.

[quote]Where?

Hyperreligious fucks are hated by God, you know. He's going to give them really crappy jobs in heaven. That'll teach 'em to do dumbass shit in his name.[/quote]

They don't have any copies at the local libraries, and they showed the books in their latest censorship display, so I guess they're not allowed right here in Oakland. The strange thing is that the Asian library still has copies in Mandarin and Korean.

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"Only things I approve of should exist." -some guy on the internet

Harry Potter is evil- it's official!

I'll say! Have you seen the way he viciously thwarts the film's misunderstood "dark lord"? What a jerk!

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"You'll burn for this. Burn in jail!"

Now I'm really confused.

Christian Witchery

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"Jelly-belly gigglin, dancin and a-wigglin, honey that's the way I am!" Janice the Muppet

We who are both Christian and Witches find ourselves constantly bombarded by the same questions over and over. "How can you be a Christian and a Witch?" The answer is simple: I'm out of my fucking mind!

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What others say about boorite!

It's a shame to see age-old pagan tradition diluted with johny-come-lately New Age stuff like Christianity.

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"You'll burn for this. Burn in jail!"

Now that I think about it, J.C. was a bit of a mystic. He pulled some cool tricks - some nice spells.

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"Jelly-belly gigglin, dancin and a-wigglin, honey that's the way I am!" Janice the Muppet

[Click to view comic: 'The sort of person fundamentalist Christians hate']

Huh huh. I emailed that site with some constructive criticism, and got the following reply:

"Date: Tue, 20 Nov 2001 00:44:12 -0500
Subject: Re: Harry Potter
From: ChildCare Action Project Ministry
To: rabadash@fuckyou.co.uk

On 11/20/01 1:29 AM, the CAP ministry wrote:

> Hi there,
>
> I just read what you said about the new Harry Potter movie.
> You're completely insane.
>
> Rab
>
>
>
>
> ------------------------------------------------------------
> .
Judging by your email address, I will give as much consideration to your
hatred of those who do not believe like you as it is worth. I will
certainly not see *your* email in our inbox again."

Ha ha!

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Worldwide Front for Islamic Jihad against Jews, Crusaders and Naughty Monkeys

Next you'll be seeing Atheists for Jesus.

Oh, never mind.

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Do you want ants? Because that's how you get ants.