That just got me erect, kaufman! (kaufman - two a's, the 1st letter in the alphabet. k, the 11th letter. 11 has two 1's. f, the sixth letter. six is 1.5 times 4. 5 is a 1 plus a 4. m, the 13th letter. 1 + 3 = 4. n, the 14th letter. A 1 and a 4!!!
Well, I'm off to check doors.
---
I ate a hooker half a bottle of knife.