There were a number of excellent entries everyone. I have listed a few below that I found particularly amusing.
Tasty - The Worst Thing Being felt up by one of the 1-800-YOURETARD spokespeople: a fate worse than death.
boinky33 - Phone Triangle "So you've gone cordless" is one of the best one-liners I've heard in a while.
Scyess - Boring People "3 million years of geothermal pressure to reach you" Geology humor isn't something one sees implemented well these days. Well done!
Kaufman - Karpov Tunnel Syndrome An excellent pun and a great turn on chess tactics.
punkrockskaboy - Bedroom Antics The fumbling bit is so accurate it sounds autobiographical.
Honorable Mentions:
Scyess' We All Know Someone Like This - Because I am that someone.
Big Evil Dan's Dummy vs. Dummy - Very amusing, but Bush is too easy a target. :P
And without further adeiu and no more fanfare, an absence of long winded preparation, speeches, ticker tape parades, dogs riding bicycles, Tango dancing monkeys or Bette Midler beatings I award Comic Contest# 160 to . . . . Scyess!
Congratulations, and good work. You have command.
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The woman said, "Sir, if you were my husband, I'd poison your tea." Churchill replied "madame, if you were my wife, I'd drink it.
