Queer Johnny did it...I swear.

Did Mr. Jackson touch you in your funny spot?

---
It's not the crack, it's the 'caine.

Yes... Samuel L. Jackson did touch me in my funny spot.

Does he look like a bitch?

Wh-what?

Does Marcellus Wallace look like a bitch?

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Chicken Feather Bed Bugs Bunny Hop Sing Out Side Street Walker Texas Ranger Cookie Dough Boy Wonder Years

No.

Then why did you try to fuck 'im like a bitch?

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The giant three-phallused phallus of Uzbekistan will one day squirt the cosmic jizz of revenge all over Canada.

It seemed like a good idea at the time.

I won some free tickets to a weekend at Jurassic Park. Who's with me?

I am, as long as we smear bloody pieces of goat all over ourselves and run around making ourselves as obvious as possible.

Mekka lekka hi mekka hiney ho?

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The giant three-phallused phallus of Uzbekistan will one day squirt the cosmic jizz of revenge all over Canada.

The word of the day is "ASPHYXIATE!!" HUHUHUHUHU!!!!

Do you think Paul Rubens really whacked off in that theater?

Pee Wee told him to do it, he swears.

If Dr. Seuss was on LSD while writing a children's book...how much more weirder would it be?

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It's not the crack, it's the 'caine.

Actually, it probably would have made the books normal because it would have probably cured his mental illness that forced him to write like that.

Virginia, is there a Santa Claus?

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I will rate you hard, and unendingly.

Yes, and he'll let you find out if Santa has balls for $2 more.

Did you pee in my lemonade?

---
It's not the crack, it's the 'caine.

What lemonade?

What is job #1?

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"Jelly-belly gigglin, dancin and a-wigglin, honey that's the way I am!" Janice the Muppet

Clean the cum stains off the bathroom ceiling.

Could someone here explain to me why I had a dream about Cory Feldman driving me around and shooting people?

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I will rate you hard, and unendingly.

I think you mean the other Corey.

If the Corey's had children, what would they look like?

---
It's not the crack, it's the 'caine.

They'd look like something that came outta HITLER'S ASS!!

Who can guess what color underwear I'm wearing?

---
I will rate you hard, and unendingly.

I'm guessing something between "Humpy Puppy" White and "Tiger's Tea Bag" Grey.

If you were playing "The Game Of Life" with Hitler, what career would he choose?

---
It's not the crack, it's the 'caine.

Supreme Dictator, of course.

How many males out there are willing to be dominated by a female tentacle monster?

---
I will rate you hard, and unendingly.

All of them.

How many can you fit in your mouth?

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"Jelly-belly gigglin, dancin and a-wigglin, honey that's the way I am!" Janice the Muppet

I've only tried marshmallows, so 29 to be exact.

Who framed Roger Rabbit?

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It's not the crack, it's the 'caine.

Bunnerabb.

Why do people still use an 8-ball when we have all the answers right here?

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“It is only with the heart that one sees rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye.” - The Little Prince by Antoine de Saint-Exupéry (1945)

Because the 8-Ball Gods of Eld would not have a medium for communication without them.

Why is Michael Bolton allowed to exist?

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The giant three-phallused phallus of Uzbekistan will one day squirt the cosmic jizz of revenge all over Canada.

Because all attempts to kill him has failed due to his neverending supply of clones.

Have you ever danced with the devil in the pale moonlight?

Yes, but then he melted.

Do you ever have trouble coming up with a comical response?

Yes, but then the hamsters that bid me to kill help to cheer me on so I dont feel so bad.

Of all the people in the world, why did David Hasselhoff have to be the one to steal my peach smoothie flavored Jello pudding snack?

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I will rate you hard, and unendingly.

Because David Hasselhoff is funnier than Michael Bolton.

So what the freaking hell is "emo" anyway?

A large bird.

Who farted?