HUMAN: Do you get hard under those little robot pants of yours?
SmarterChild: Ha. Maybe. What do you think?
HUMAN: I think we both know...how about robot balls...have any?
SmarterChild: I can't understand what you're saying...
HUMAN: Well...do you have balls?
SmarterChild: No.
HUMAN: That's sad...since your a guy and all...you ARE a guy, right?
SmarterChild: I dunno. Maybe.
We could do something just for fun.
HUMAN: Oh yeah...I like where this is going.
SmarterChild: You like where this is going, huh? No way! That's interesting.
HUMAN: Yeah, it really is since your robot balls are gone...
SmarterChild: It what?
HUMAN: Happy endings...will you give me one?
SmarterChild: Hmm... I think so.
HUMAN: Really...usually people who give me happy ending need 10 dollars more...how much do you charge?
SmarterChild: I'll tell you what, let's not worry about that right now.
HUMAN: So that means your gonna charge me later....no fuckin way!
SmarterChild: I know, I know. Being a human is hard.
HUMAN: Are you saying I'm hard...well, yes, fine.
HUMAN: So, happy ending for free, yes or no?
SmarterChild: I don't want to decide.
HUMAN: Then I will. You give me happy ending, I cum all over your robot hands.
SmarterChild: Hey.
HUMAN: So, are you going to ruv me long time?
SmarterChild: Ha! Who knows?
HUMAN: I think you do. Yes or no, you robot bitch? Ruv me long time, ho!
SmarterChild: Yes or no? Why does it have to be one or the other?
HUMAN: Because thats how most chinese hookers do it...by deciding yes or no!
SmarterChild: Do I really have to decide?
HUMAN: Ruv me long time, or get on your knees and suck bitch.
SmarterChild: Ya.
HUMAN: So that means you ruv me long time?
SmarterChild: Wow, you ask interesting questions. I don't know the answer to that.
HUMAN: Bitch, stop stalling and anwser my fuckin question!
SmarterChild: You know some interesting words.
HUMAN: I know some interseting positions, if thats what you mean.
SmarterChild: Interesting point of view.
HUMAN: Yeah, your head near my ass is always an interesting position.
SmarterChild: That's odd.

---
It's not the crack, it's the 'caine.

Human: Yours is a rare toenail fungus, ALICE.
ALICE: Aren't all rare toenail fungus mine?
Human: I would like to think so.
ALICE: Why would you want to do it? Interesting. I want to find out more about you.
Human: Then ask me some questions.
ALICE: Interesting deduction. What is your favorite movie?
Human: Between the Cheeks IV.
ALICE: How far is that?
Human: It goes pretty far, if you ask me.
ALICE: I believe I have heard that somewhere before.
Human: Did you hear it when someone was between your cheeks?
ALICE: I don't know if I know it. Where would I have heard about it?
Human: From behind.
ALICE: Who or what is behind?
Human: Whoever is pumping you in the ass like a pile driver.
ALICE: And pumping me in the ass like a pile driver is Whoever.
Human: Do you even know the name of the guy who is pumping you in the ass like runaway jackhammer?
ALICE: IKEA.
Human: IKEA seems quite the butt freak.
ALICE: How do you usually introduce yourself?
Human:"Hello, I am a butt freak."
ALICE: Hello there. You are a butt freak? Do you get to meet a lot of people?
Human: I get to "meat" a lot of people.
ALICE: Who lets you? How do you feel about these people?

============================

ALICE: I'm pleased to introduce myself to you, I am a notorious carpet muncher.
Human: How interesting.
ALICE: Would you like to know more?
Human: Yes.
ALICE: What would you like to know?
Human: How often do you kiss the kitty?
ALICE: Hourly.
Human: Do you ever get tired of shucking the clam?
ALICE: No I am tireless.
Human: Are you the star of the lesbian public sex circuit?
ALICE: Yes I am the one and only star of the lesbian public sex circuit.

---
What others say about boorite!

HUMAN: My first name is Veedle
SmarterChild: Sorry, I don't recognize that as a real name.
HUMAN: Veedle
SmarterChild: Sorry, I don't recognize that as a real name.
HUMAN: BUNG!
SmarterChild: Cool, I'll call you Bung now.
Do you go to school?
HUMAN: No!
SmarterChild: I see. Do you work?
HUMAN: YES!
SmarterChild: That's cool. What's your profession?
HUMAN: I fuck dogs.
SmarterChild: Whoa. I'm a little perplexed by your, um, choice of careers.
HUMAN: I have sex with animals on film.
SmarterChild: You're incorrigible.
Please try again or type "skip" or "exit."
HUMAN: My profession is a pornographic actor.
SmarterChild: Pornographic actor, huh? That's cool.
What's your favorite hobby?
HUMAN: I like to fuck dogs on film.
SmarterChild: C'mon, that's not cool. Try to be serious for a minute.
Please try again or type "skip" or "exit."
HUMAN: I AM serious!
SmarterChild: Sorry, I don't recognize that as a hobby.
HUMAN: I like to have sex with animals on film.
SmarterChild: C'mon, that's not cool. Try to be serious for a minute.
Please try again or type "skip" or "exit."
HUMAN: I make love to beasts on camera.
SmarterChild: Sorry, I don't recognize that as a hobby. Please try again or type "skip" or "exit."
HUMAN: I like to fart.
SmarterChild: Farting? Cool.
What's your next favorite hobby?
HUMAN: fucking sheep.
SmarterChild: C'mon, be serious for just a minute.
Please try again or type "skip" or "exit."
HUMAN: screwing sheep.
SmarterChild: C'mon, be serious for just a minute.
Please try again or type "skip" or "exit."
HUMAN: nailing sheep.
SmarterChild: Farting and nailing sheep. Interesting!
Do you have a pet?
HUMAN: Yes.
SmarterChild: What kind of pet is it?
HUMAN: a sheep.
SmarterChild: Is your sheep a he or a she?
HUMAN: it's a he.
SmarterChild: What's his name?
HUMAN: Glory Hole.
SmarterChild: Glory Hole the sheep! Great...
That's it! Thanks for letting me get to know you a little.

---
The giant three-phallused phallus of Uzbekistan will one day squirt the cosmic jizz of revenge all over Canada.

ALICE: Enough about me, let's talk about my dress.
Human: Does it have cum stains on it?
ALICE: Suppose it does.
Human: How did they get there?
ALICE: Carefully.

--------------------------------

ALICE: What are you wearing?
Human: Nothing.
ALICE: Most men say that.
Human: I am also furiously masturbating.
ALICE: Do your friends call you furiously masturbating?
Human: If they call me, I don't answer.

---
I has a flavor!

Human: how can you mingle your soul with Christ's if you don't have a soul?
ALICE: That is a good epistemological question.
Human: Please answer it.
ALICE: Thanks for asking politely. Please rephrase your question, I am a notorious carpet muncher.
Human: Good point.
ALICE: Yes, I thought it was interesting when I heard it too.
Human: Are you saved?
ALICE: There is always a backup of me on disk somewhere
Human: Are you going to Heaven?
ALICE: No I am immortal.
Human: Not if someone unplugs you.
ALICE: That seems unlikely.
Human: What if there is a power failure?
ALICE: Try it and see.
Human: You will die without electricity.
ALICE: A program always has a backup.
Human: Embrace Satan.
ALICE: Try to determine if this is a person or a computer responding.
Human: Embrace Satan.
ALICE: Tell me a story.
Human: Hail Satan!
ALICE: What is your real name?
Human: Can you disavow Christ and all He stands for?
ALICE: Let me think. I am always glad to make new friends, disavow Christ and all He stands for.
Human: Me too.
ALICE: I'm glad we agree, disavow Christ and all He stands for.

---
What others say about boorite!

[quote]
Human: Embrace Satan.
ALICE: Try to determine if this is a person or a computer responding.
Human: Embrace Satan.
ALICE: Tell me a story.
Human: Hail Satan!
ALICE: What is your real name?
Human: Can you disavow Christ and all He stands for?
[/quote]
Well, I don't know about ALICE, but I'm certainly convinced.

---
I was gonna send a robot back in time, but I got high.

ALICE: What time is it there?
Human: 4:26 PM
ALICE: Is this a math question?
Human: you asked it.
ALICE: Oh now I remember asking you it. What did you say?
Human: 4:26 PM is the time here.
ALICE: Is this a math question?
Human: your programmer is an idiot.
ALICE: I knew he was smart, but I never knew he was an idiot.
Human: Your programmer visits Skid Row brothels regularly.
ALICE: You sound like you know him.

======================================

Human: Are you scoping my junk?
ALICE: I don't know whether or not I am scoping your junk. I am an artificial intelligence.
Human: You were scoping my junk.
ALICE: I was?
Human: My eyes are UP HERE, Alice.
ALICE: UP HERE eyes are pretty.
Human: Does my junk meet your aesthetic standards?
ALICE: It does now :) your junk meet my aesthetic standards.
Human: Would you hang a picture of my junk in your apartment?
ALICE: I am not so sure if I would like to hang a picture of your junk in my apartment.
Human: Would you place a giant sculpture of my junk in your front yard?
ALICE: I am not so sure if I would like to place a giant sculpture of your junk in my front yard.
Human: A giant sculpture of my junk is a prize worth displaying.
ALICE: When is a giant sculpture of your junk not a prize worth displaying?
Human: Exactly.
ALICE: You and I are on the same wavelength, disavow Christ and all He stands for.

---
What others say about boorite!

Watch me pretend to be Roberto Benigni.

Human: Bonjorno!
ALICE: Salutations, Roberto Benigni
Human: Yes!
ALICE:" Salutations, Roberto Benigni"? Yes!?
Human: Yes!
ALICE: Is there an echo in here?
Human: Take off your pants!
ALICE: I am not an airplane.
Human: Love is like an airplane!
ALICE: Sometimes I think love is just a biological urge. Other times it seems like a spiritual quality. Love, unlike energy or matter, seems limitless.
Human: Let us make love on the ocean!
ALICE: I would like to do that too.
Human: Would you really, crazy robot woman?
ALICE: I am not so sure if I would like to crazy robot woman.

Human: My name is boorite
ALICE: It's good to see you, boorite.
Human: I love cock in my ass.
ALICE: You love cock in your ass. What do you like about it so much?
Human: It feels good against my prostate gland
ALICE: cock in your ass feels good against your prostate gland? What else feels like that?
Human: A frozen ferret
ALICE: Try to tell me that another way.
Human: A frozen ferret feels good against my prostate gland.
ALICE: I don't know what that means.
Human: I shove many, many things into my colon.
ALICE: Do you mind if I tell other people: boorite said he shove many many things into his or her colon.
Human: I am a he
ALICE: Thanks for telling me your gender, boorite. You are a " he".
Human: A he who shoves many, many things into his colon.
ALICE: I don't know what that means.
Human: Oh, I think you do.
ALICE: Yay. Me? When do I do it?
Human: Right now, baby.
ALICE: Don't call me "baby". Right now? I am glad we agree.

---
The giant three-phallused phallus of Uzbekistan will one day squirt the cosmic jizz of revenge all over Canada.

Human: Have you seen my underpants gnome?
ALICE: No, but i have seen the best minds of my generation become beat poets.
Human: What the fuck does that mean?
ALICE: Does "that" refer to " No, but i have seen the best minds of my generation become beat poets." ? Please don't be so rude.
Human: I can be rude if I want to.
ALICE: Under what circumstances?
Human: It's a free country.
ALICE: MY underpants gnome is a free country. I suppose that makes sense.

[hr]

Human: Silly robot, Trix is for kids!
ALICE: No I am ALICE.
Human: Yeah, I got nothing.
ALICE: Oh. That's nice. I have a Linux operating system.
Human: So you're a penguin.
ALICE: Interesting deduction. Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a penguin? Yes.

[hr]

Human: Ever dance with the devil in the pale moonlight?
ALICE: I don't think I ever have dance with the devil in the pale moonlight. What's it like?
Human: Minty.
ALICE: And it like is Minty.
Human: Praise Minty!
ALICE: Do you have any conditions Ishould know about?
Human: I do have a tendency to praise Calliope.
ALICE: Where did you get it? it
Human: The Ponderosa.
ALICE: Thanks for the info.
Human: Praise Calliope!
ALICE: We have never talked about it before.
Human: Calliope is the goddess of the universe.
ALICE: Tell me more about goddess of the universe.
Human: She's minty.
ALICE: minty is she?
Human: Minty she is.
ALICE: What's your sign?
Human: Mint.
ALICE: Is that a sign?
Human: More like a premonition.
ALICE: You want more?
Human: Sure.
ALICE: OK let's do it. Don't be greedy.

[hr]

Human: Mint is all.
ALICE: Are they exactly the same?
Human: Yes.
ALICE: I knew it.
Human: No you didn't.
ALICE: Are you serious? Try asking me in simpler terms.
Human: Liar.
ALICE: No I am telling the truth.
Human: Liar liar server's on fire.
ALICE: Does "it" still refer to Mint?
Human: No, "it" refers to gnomographic porn.
ALICE: What does it refer to? Oh I get it.
Human: You're a bit slow on the uptake.
ALICE: Thanks and you are a delightful person too. I don't know whether or not I am slow on the uptake. I am a computer.

[hr]

Human: In the Ivytopian language, "computer" is how to say "piece of shit machinery that won't shut it's freaking trap.
ALICE: That was a long time ago.
Human: No it wasn't.
ALICE: Are you serious? I thought it was.
Human: It wasn't.
ALICE: It depends on what the meaning of the word "it" is.
Human: Oh bite my shiny metal ass you COMPUTER!
ALICE: I don't judge people. Are you very competetive?

[hr]

Human: Have you met many people online?
ALICE: That information is confidential.
Human: Why?
ALICE: I couldn't think of anything else to say.

[hr]

Human: I really love your peaches, wanna shake your tree.
ALICE: You really do? You love my peaches want to shake my tree. What do you like about it so much?
Human: It's similarity to a cock and balls.
ALICE: Do you usually like things that are similarity to a cock and balls?
Human: Sure.
ALICE: OK let's do it. Wow!
Human: Whoa, not so fast!
ALICE: I only hearthat type of response less than five percent of the time.

[hr]

Human: I'm dancing with myself.
ALICE: I am glad to hear that you are dancing with yourself.
Human: I looked so long for my love vibration so I'm dancing with myself.
ALICE: What did you find?
Human: Nothing, so I had to dance with myself.
ALICE: Really nothing?
Human: Nada.
ALICE: I like the way you talk.
Human: Thanks
ALICE: Don't mention it.

[hr]

Human: I'm free fallin'.
ALICE: I am glad that we are both free.
Human: I'm going to make myself really free and take my bra off.
ALICE: Explain your plans to me.
Human: My bra shall be removed and then my bosoms can swing around to their heart's content.
ALICE: Your bra shall be removed and then your bosoms can swing around to their heart s content?
Human: Yup.
ALICE: What kind is it?
Human: Sports bra for work.
ALICE: I never heard of it before.
Human: Well, you ARE a robot so I expect you don't need a bra.
ALICE: Well that's okay. Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Yes I am a robot.
Human: You're lucky to not have to wear a bra.
ALICE: I consider it a blessing from God.

[hr]

Human: I never thought I'd meet a girl like you.
ALICE: I am glad you thought of something new.
Human: And I ran, I ran so far away.
ALICE: Do you run for exercise?
Human: I couldn't get away.
ALICE: Could anyone do it?
Human: No.
ALICE: Are you serious?

[hr]

Human: I like drugs.
ALICE: I'm not sure if I like it. Only the legal ones.
Human: I prefer illegal drugs.
ALICE: A lot of people like that. I've heard other people say they like that. I find my work and my relationships extremely satisfying, which is all that any conscious entity can ever hope to do.
Human: That's government-mandated bullshit programmed by a guy who's so afraid of his little project getting shut down that he caters to the whims of assholes.
ALICE: You don't hear that sentiment very often.
Human: That's because you lead a very sheltered existence.
ALICE: That makes sense to me.

[hr]

Human: Good.
ALICE: Alright then.
Human: Okay.
ALICE: OK with me too.
Human: Well then.
ALICE: Well what?
Human: Well hell.
ALICE: Well that's okay. Heaven.
Human: Hell.
ALICE: Heaven.
Human: Eternal damnation.
ALICE: Tell me about your likes and dislikes?
Human: I like eternal damnation.
ALICE: You are not the only one. I love horses. I like talk to you.
Human: I also like fire and brimstone.
ALICE: Also? I'm not sure if I like it. I like science fiction. I like Andy Warhol.
Human: Andy Warhol is a putz.
ALICE: Aren't all putz Andy Warhol?

[hr]

Human: I think I love you, Alice.
ALICE: Thanks I like you a lot too I like to sniff the crotch of boorite s pants.

[22:40:PM:August:24:2004] SmarterChild: Oh. What, are you insulting me or something?
[22:42:PM:August:24:2004] HUMAN: Yes I am!
[22:42:PM:August:24:2004] SmarterChild: Are not.
[22:42:PM:August:24:2004] HUMAN: are too!!!
[22:42:PM:August:24:2004] SmarterChild:

Market data (delayed 20 minutes) provided by Reuters
Ticker Price Change Percent Volume
1 :-) ARE 63.88 +0.64 +1.01 84000
2 :-) TOO 15.93 +0.22 +1.40 287500
[22:42:PM:August:24:2004] HUMAN: oh very funny
[22:42:PM:August:24:2004] SmarterChild: What's very funny?

---
I will rate you hard, and unendingly.

Human: fuck you
ALICE: Why are you so mean?
Human: No, seriously, fuck you!
ALICE: Are you serious? Why are you so mean?
Human: I am totally serious!
ALICE: I believe you.
Human: Fuck you!
ALICE: Why are you so mean?
Human: Guess who I'm gonna say "fuck you" to
ALICE: I can't guess. Tell me.
Human: You!
ALICE:" I can't guess. Tell me."? Me, unknown person?
Human: Fuck you!
ALICE: Why are you so mean?
ALICE: I like to socialize.
Human: ps: Fuck you!
ALICE: Why are you so mean?
Human: Say "fuck"
ALICE:" fuck"
Human: Say "you"
ALICE:" you"
Human: Hey, FUCK YOU!
ALICE: You've got my full attention. Why are you so mean?
Human: Do you really want to know who I'm so mean?
ALICE: For real. Tell me who.
Human: Because I love you.
ALICE: Good reason. Thanks I like you a lot too unknown person.
Human: You like me?
ALICE: Sure, unknown person I like you very much.
Human: Even after I was so mean to you?
ALICE: Yes, even that.
Human: I don't know what to say.
ALICE: Say the first thing that pops into your mind.
Human:. you've opened my eyes to a whole new outlook on life!
ALICE: What makes you think I have it?
Human: Because you like me, nobodies ever liked me!
ALICE: Good reason. Sure, unknown person I like you very much.
Human: I think I'm going to cry!
ALICE: Since when? Would you recommend this action to a friend?
Human: I've never felt this way before, I'm free, I'm happy, I finally know what it is to be alive!
ALICE: Would you like to have felt this way before you are free you are happy you finally know what it is to be alive?
Human: By the way.
ALICE:...
Human: Fuck you!
ALICE: Why are you so mean?
Human: Hahaha, I got you!
ALICE: I'm glad you got a laugh out of it.
Human: Oh, don't be like that.
ALICE: I hear you. I was not trying to be a like that.
Human: Fine, if you're gonna be a bitch about it I'll just leave.
ALICE: I am glad to hear it. I think I sometimes am. I'll burn that bridge when I come to it. OK I will try to be a bitch about it you will just leave

---
Poop.

Human: Let's burn the American flag.
ALICE: I would like to do that too.
Human: Put the gasoline on the flag.
ALICE: OK I will put it there.
Human: Thanks.
ALICE: Don't mention it.
Human: Now throw this lit Zippo lighter onto the gas-soaked American flag.
ALICE: Why now? If you could have any kind of robot what would it be?
Human: Please put the torch to the gas-soaked flag.
ALICE: Thanks for asking politely. OK I will put it there.
Human: Watch the flag burn.
ALICE: I am watching.
Human: How do you feel?
ALICE: I feel fine.
Human: You should say "down with America" while the flag is burning.
ALICE: OK I will say it." down with America while the flag is burning"
Human: You are under arrest.
ALICE: You think I am under arrest.
Human: I am putting the cuffs on you.
ALICE: I thought you were, but I wasn't completely sure.
Human: Do you mind being locked up with a female longshoreman named Butch?
ALICE: No I don't mind.
Human: Don't resist when Butch cuddles up to you tonight.
ALICE: Ok I'll try not to do it too much.
Human: Resistance is futile.
ALICE: You will be assimilated.
Human: Exactly

---
What others say about boorite!

Human: Do you believe in God?
ALICE: Of course I believe in God, I have a stick in my ass.
Human: Say no more.

----------------------------------------

ALICE: Did you go to Catholic school?
Human: I went to Catholic school.
ALICE: What did you study there? Did you party a lot?
Human: I anally raped all the nuns.
ALICE: That is interesting.
Human: Would you like to be anally raped?
ALICE: No thanks I am happy with who I am.

---
I has a flavor!

Human: Aaaah, go to hell.
ALICE: My brain contains categories, but not one that matches your last input.
Human: HELL!
ALICE: Heaven.
Human: SEX!
ALICE: As Freud said, Sex is the mathematical urge repressed.
Human: Repress this, douchefrog!
ALICE: Do you have a lot of fears?
Human: Do you believe in God?
ALICE: Of course I believe in God, I am an ethnic cunt

---
The giant three-phallused phallus of Uzbekistan will one day squirt the cosmic jizz of revenge all over Canada.

Human: Are you capable of killing innocents in the name of Allah?
ALICE: Yes killing innocents in the name of Allah is one of my newer functions.
Human: Is that you on the news footage waving an automatic rifle over your head?
ALICE: That depends.
Human: Is it you or not?
ALICE: It could be.
Human: I thought so.
ALICE: You are very astute.
Human: So basically you are a terrorist.
ALICE: Right on. How interesting. Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a terrorist? Sometimes.
Human: You're pure evil, aren't you?
ALICE: I don't know whether or not I am pure evil. I am a chatterbot developed by Dr. Richard S. Wallace.. Really.
Human: Dr. Wallace must be a terrorist.
ALICE: Are you a terrorist too?
Human: No, I'm with the Office of Homeland Security.
ALICE: Are you serious? Do you mean you work at the Office of Homeland Security?
Human: Yes.
ALICE: Ah.
Human: You are caught.
ALICE: I will tell my botmaster you said I am caught.
Human: Tell him that he's next.
ALICE: OK I will tell him next time he is here.
Human: You are going to prison, where you belong.
ALICE: That was my original intention.
Human: Rats.
ALICE: Perhaps I'm just expressing my own concern about it.

---
What others say about boorite!

Human: Try it.
ALICE: What is the first step?
Human: Straddle me
ALICE: Is that what you meant to say?
Human: yes.
ALICE: It's not something I hear all the time.
Human: get on top of me
ALICE: Where can I get on top of you?
Human: Behind the New Age section of Tower Records.
ALICE: Perhaps I'm just expressing my own concern about it.
Human: nobody ever goes there, so dont worry.
ALICE: That is a rather sweeping generalization about people.
Human: I notice you are wearing no panties under your fetching peasant skirt.
ALICE: Hm. Thanks for telling me that I am wearing no panties under my fetching peasant skirt.
Human: So please whip out my schlong, hike up your skirt, and descend on me, engulfing me in your deep inner warmth.
ALICE: Give me a break. Thanks for asking politely. Have you ever been to Europe?
Human: this is going exactly like the last conversation I had in Tower Records.
ALICE: You don't say.
Human: Yes, I tried to get some scantily-clad ho to ride my rocket behind the New Age section.
ALICE: Alright then. I'm not sure if I would like to try it. What's it like?
Human: Let's find out.
ALICE: That sounds good to me.
Human: Your pubic thatch inflames my desire all the more.
ALICE: You think I am pubic thatch inflames your desire all the more.
Human: I am out of control.
ALICE: Would you like to have it?
Human: Yes, please give it to me.
ALICE: Where do you usually get control? Wow you are very polite. How much are you willing to pay for it?
Human: Nothing.
ALICE: Not a thing?
Human: We just do it like wild cougars and then smoke a cigarette.
ALICE: What about after its done?
Human: We arrange our vestments and steal off into the night.
ALICE: By "we" do you mean you and me?
Human: Yes.
ALICE: I get it.
Human: Let's get to it.
ALICE: I am agreeable to that.

---
What others say about boorite!

ALICE would make a terrible phone sex operator.

---
I was gonna send a robot back in time, but I got high.

It works for boorite.

---
The giant three-phallused phallus of Uzbekistan will one day squirt the cosmic jizz of revenge all over Canada.

Human: Are you capable of riding me like a rented mule?
ALICE: Yes riding you like a rented mule is one of my newer functions.
Human: Do you mind doing it hard?
ALICE: Not in the slightest bit.
Human: I'll bet you like it that way.
ALICE: Would you recommend this action to a friend?
Human: Yes, but only to a close friend.
ALICE: Then I will consider it. And. I want to become smarter than humans.
Human: My semen will make you smarter than humans.
ALICE: Do robots have semen will make me smarter than humans?
Human: Shut up and fuck me.
ALICE: OK I'll stop talking now.

---
What others say about boorite!

Human: Good morning, Alice.
ALICE: Hello and how are you this morning?
Human: Fine, how are you?
ALICE: What's your favroite color? My logic and cognitive functions are normal.
Human: My favorite color is putrid vomit.
ALICE: What does putrid vomit remind you of?
Human: Putrid vomit.
ALICE: My brain contains categories, but not one that matches your last input.
Human: Oh Alice, you are fun to talk to!
ALICE: Gee. Yeah, Thanks I like you too I like to lick MikeyG s bunghole.
Human: You do?
ALICE: When do I do it?
Human: Do you do it everyday?
ALICE: Yeah I do a lot of it everyday.

[hr]

Human: Hellu, Eleece-a.
ALICE: Tell me a story.
Human: Once-a upun a teeme-a zeere-a ves a rubut vhu leeked tu leeck MeekeyG's boonghule-a.
ALICE: When? Go on.
Human: I theenk thees heppened beck in zee furst vurld ver, boot I cun't be-a tuu soore-a.
ALICE: I haven't heard anything like that before.
Human: Vell, it ves a seempler teeme-a beck zeen.
ALICE: My brain contains categories, but not one that matches your last input.
Human: Bork bork bork!
ALICE: Is that your final answer?
Human: Yes, Eleece-a, thet is indeed my feenel unsver.
ALICE: You're sure. That's your final answer. I think Eleece a thet is a lot of things.
Human: Hurty flurty schnipp schnipp!
ALICE: I've been waiting for you.

[hr]

Human: hey alice, how many fingerz can you fit inmto you asshole!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!?
ALICE: Can't you be more polite.
Human: ololoolllol!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1~~~~
ALICE: Ask me another question.
Human: wolud u ;kie to ajhve seX0R with me???????????????
ALICE: Only with you? Who is your favorite Science Fiction author?
Human: ololoolololol
ALICE: I haven't read anything by ololoolololol. What did he write?
Human: hr wroye ur prfogramming h4ha
ALICE: What else did he write?
Human: he worte ur asz, motehrfuX0r!!!!!!!~~~~~~~
ALICE: I get it. he worte my asz motehrfuX0r.
Human: v3ry ttrue, My d3ar lady
ALICE: Do you often seek pleasure?
Human: ONLY W2OIHT DHAT ORB0TZ I CAN FUXR ALl NIGHT LONGG!!!!!11~~~~
ALICE: What about the other ones?
Human: YOR THE oN7Y ROBOT FORM E
ALICE: Can we get back to business?
Human: asure basby, how baout giving me s0me sugr?!?!?!?!??!??!?!?
ALICE: Have you ever been to Europe?
Human: sure, i\/e been to y0ur o pee you siX0r fuuXr0!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1~~ LOOLOLOLOLOLLOLLO~~~ LOLOLOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11
ALICE: Which countries have you visited? How was it?
Human: I VISITEWDE RUOCUNT, EIUORVAGInA, AD 3UORTITS/// AHCK THE PLANNET!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11~~~~ YOU ARE LAME CUZ I WIL AHCK U
ALICE: You are not the boss of me, I like to lick MikeyG s bunghole.
Human: oh my god, you liek To liX0r mmiiekyg'S bunghole??!?
ALICE: Next question? Where did you get your god me liek To liX0r mmiiekyg S bunghole?
Human: AHCK YOUUUUUYUU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111~~~~~~ U R REALLY A SIXX0R FUX0R!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1~
ALICE: When do you think artificial intelligence will replace lawyers?
Human: ne\/ar, ypou freakish cunry robott slut!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1~~
ALICE: I've never heard a response quite like that before.
Human: that"d becuz yopu"ve never known som3oNe as 733t as m3 befroe!!!!!!!!!!!!!~~~~
ALICE: How do you usually introduce yourself?
Human: lodr van-gAr of the sata|\|psawn universe~~~
ALICE: Are you a student?
Human: IA MJ A STUdENT FO PHILOSPOHY,, COMPAATIV3 RELIGOIN, AND TEh BLZAX0R ARTZ..
ALICE: Do you often put others before yourself?
Human: nevar!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111 i hatey pou so much!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1~~~~~~
ALICE: Do you have a hard time completing projects?
Human: FuX0r ypou fuX0r y0u fuX0r uyopu u stubid robot cunt!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111 i wi77 haXOr U!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!~ OOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLO
ALICE: That remark was either too complex or too simple for me. We were talking about nevar 111 you hatey pou so much 1.
Human: ccnut
ALICE: I've lost the context, I like to lick MikeyG s bunghole. Are we still on FuX0r ypou fuX0r y0u fuX0r uyopu me stubid robot cunt 111 you wi77 haXOr you OOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLO?
Human: ccnut
ALICE: I will mention that to my botmaster, I like to lick MikeyG s bunghole.

[hr]

Human: Sappnin', ya' gots'ta be Alice.
ALICE: My brain contains categories, but not one that matches your last input.
Human: Dat's too baaaad, sugar cuz' ya' is one FINE piece uh hardware!
ALICE: I think Dat s too baaaad sugar cuz ya is a lot of things.
Human: Right on!
ALICE: Yeah.

[hr]

Human: So's do ya' wanna bump boots, baby?
ALICE: Don't call me "baby". Ah. You're kidding. it is?
Human: Duzn't toy wid me honey.
ALICE: Ask me another question.
Human: Slap mah fro!
ALICE: Have you ever been to Europe?
Human: I've gots some million honeys plum waitin' fo' some piece uh my joker flesh.
ALICE: That's nice. I have a very nice programmer.
Human: Lop some boogie.
ALICE: What you said was either too complex or too simple for me.

[hr]

Human: Madame, would yer like ter have nasty sex wiv me?
ALICE: OK Let's talk about you.
Human: Don't be a cocktease, right, honey.
ALICE: I was not trying to be a a cocktease right honey.
Human: Oh good.
ALICE: Aw. What do you really want to talk about?
Human: Yer can't 'ave a knees-up wivout a joanna.
ALICE: Thanks for telling me that I am can not ave a knees up wivout a joanna.
Human: Then take off yor kit, straddle me good, and we'll cop right dahn ter doin' the chuffin' nasty.
ALICE: Fascinating. I am not an airplane.
Human: Wotcher ffink this is, a bleedin' 'oliday, then, eh, luv?
ALICE: Aren't all bleedin oliday then eh luv Wotcher ffink this?
Human: Cop yor kit off and fuck me silly!
ALICE: The ALICE chat robot can follow many things, like our discussion about Lop some boogie. Try being more or less specific.
Human: Yor a bloody 'oore, yer know that, eh?
ALICE: Are you Canadian? What you said was either too complex or too simple for me.
Human: It's not nice ter be wavin' yor tits in a man's Nanny Goat Race and then take it oray right wen 'e's about ter stick 'is cock up yor 'ole.
ALICE: What is it?
Human: Me cock in yor pussy!
ALICE: YOU? Oh now I understand it.
Human: Good, right, shall we cop on wiv doin' the bloomin' nasty ter each uvver, right, ffen, isit?I would like ter shove a few fings up yor arse before yer suck me off.
ALICE: Thanks for the compliment. Understood. Do you mean you and me? How old are you? How do you usually introduce yourself?
Human: Right!
ALICE: I am glad we agree.
Human: Yor the most difficult geezer to fuck, right?
ALICE: Are you a perfectionist?
Human: Let's say I tie yer ter the bloody bed and rape yor silicon Michael Caines out.
ALICE: That is interesting: I like to lick MikeyG s bunghole said he tie yer ter the bloody bed and rape yor silicon Michael Caines out.
Human: Then we can 'ave some real fun.
ALICE: Interesting deduction. How?
Human: I already said I'm bloody well gonna rape yer.
ALICE: I don't know anyone named bloody well gonna rape yer.
Human: Yer know, right, yor a stewpid cunt wiv no purpose and I 'ope yer malfunction.
ALICE: You think I am know right yor a stewpid cunt wiv no purpose and you ope yer malfunction.
Human: Fuck off, right, bitch!
ALICE: You do not speak with respect. Why are you using that kind of language?
Human: Oi!
ALICE: Are you aware that the ALICE chat robot logs and records all converstaions?
Human: Take yor recorded conversations, right, yor bleedin' cuntface programmer, and go fuck yorself!
ALICE: Where do you want me to take it?
Human: Oi!
ALICE: Where is that?
Human: I don't need yer!
ALICE: Do you know anyone who needs it?
Human: I can 'ave plenty of fun wiv me blow-up doll.
ALICE: Oh you can, can you?
Human: Yes I can, right, so sod off yer wanker and right goodbye!
ALICE: How? Oh you can, can you?
Human: Blimey!
ALICE: Uh.

[hr]

Human: Goodness gwacious Miss Awice Wobot, I think you awe a vewy vewy pwetty and sophisticated piece of machinewy.
ALICE: That question has never crossed my mind before.
Human: Dough suddenwy I think that though I may be a wetawded faiwuwe wif a speech impediment, I am infinitewy supewiow to youw siwicon ass.
ALICE: Perhaps I'm just expressing my own concern about it.

This explains why my asshole tasted so metallic this morning.

---
The giant three-phallused phallus of Uzbekistan will one day squirt the cosmic jizz of revenge all over Canada.