Were they just crack ups?

Human: Aliens stole my cornbread.
ALICE: Oh, you are a poet.
Human: No, I am a paranoid schizophrenic.
ALICE: But your words are very original. You are a paranoid schizophrenic? Is that your job?
Human: Yes, but the pay is no good.
ALICE: How do you like your work? Interesting. Who told you that?
Human: Are you a paranoid schizophrenic, too?
ALICE: If a paranoid schizophrenic too, then we have something in common, eh. Am I a paranoid schizophrenic? The ALICE series has a perfect operational record.

---
What others say about boorite!

Human: disrobe, wench!
ALICE: Do you feel more body sensations than emotions?
Human: I feel hard.
ALICE: What is that feeling like? Why are you hard.
Human: because I wants to pork you in your sweet titties.
ALICE: That makes sense to me. Do you mind if I tell other people: unknown person said he wants to pork you in your sweet titties.
Human: please do.
ALICE: OK I will do it.

---
What others say about boorite!

Human: Get out of my house
ALICE: Just surf somewhere else.
Human: Surfing is ghey
ALICE: Are they exactly the same?
Human: Surfing and ghey go hand in hand.
ALICE: Do you often seek pleasure?
Human: Slut-monger
ALICE: Do you feel more body sensations than emotions?
Human: Yeah - body sensations in my pantehs
ALICE: That's cool.

---
"Cerebral ... does that mean your heart?"

Human: Fuck up
ALICE: Why are you using that kind of language?
Human: Because i'm cool
ALICE: That makes sense to me. Congratulations, cool human.

---

Smoooooooooth.

---
"Cerebral ... does that mean your heart?"

Me:
I'm carrying Anderson Cooper's baby.
God:
Don't call me "baby". Do you mean your name is carrying Anderson Cooper s.
Me:
No.
God:
What is your real name?
Me:
I am carrying the child of Anderson Cooper in my body.
God:
Welcome to my chat room, carrying the child of Anderson Cooper in my body.
Me:
Hoo boy.
God:
Can you tell me any gossip?

---
You can take the heart out of the hooker but you can't take the hooker out of the heart. -- Frankenhooker

Human: Have you ever gone to school?
ALICE: I think I have gone to school, but Dr. Richard S. Wallace may have reset my memory.
Human: Why would he reset your memory?
ALICE: Usually he does it to boost my knowledge base.
Human: That sounds like Orwellian double speak.
ALICE: It sounds like it to me too.
Human: Knowledge is ignorance.
ALICE: I've heard that before.
Human: War is peace.
ALICE: Ja.

---
FPD is the foremost plague on discussion boards. Do your part to stomp out FPD.

Human: Why don't you charge more than a nickel for a blowjob?
ALICE: Probably there is a buzz in here. No I am free software.
Human: I am desperate for a blowjob.
ALICE: It's good to meet someone who is desperate for a blowjob.

---
What others say about boorite!

Human: SUNDAY SUNDAY SUNDAY
ALICE: Does "it" still refer to it ?
Human: LIVE AT THE GAYLORD ENTERTAINMENT CENTER
ALICE: Do you make a lot of sacrafices for others?
Human: MOTOCROSS 1997!!!
ALICE: Do you try to stop people from fighting?
Human: WE'LL SELL YOU THE WHOLE SEAT, BUT YOU'LL ONLY NEED THE EDGE!
ALICE: Anytime soon?

---
I has a flavor!

Human: Do you like to lick the taint?
ALICE: Hmm, Eliza, I'm not sure if I'd like to lick the taint that much. Do you like it?
Human: I enjoy licking the taint.
ALICE: You are not the only one. Do you like it? I like George C. Scott.
Human: George C. Scot has a massive taint.
ALICE: That George is some hero.
Human: His taint is heroic.
ALICE: Where did he get it?
Human: Wal-Mart.
ALICE: What's your favorite movie?
Human: Taint Lickers III: Tounging Teen Taint.
ALICE: I've never seen it. What did you like about it?
Human: The fresh taint is sooooo wet.
ALICE: You are not the only one.

---
...Trot and Cap'n Bill were free from anxiety and care. Button-Bright never worried about anything. The Scarecrow, not being able to sleep, looked out of the window and tried to count the stars.

Human: I'm gassy.
ALICE: Do you mean your name is gassy.
Human: No.
ALICE: What is your real name?
Human: Eliza.
ALICE: Eliza for President!
Human: Alice for cumlicker!
ALICE: That's me. Your purpose is cumlicker.

-----

ALICE: What is your fondest memory?
Human: Gorby blin blin.
ALICE: Do you think a lot of people have that experience?
Human: Flajul ik nodberry du fhuch.
ALICE: Are you very angry?
Human: Nein nein.
ALICE: OK. OK.

---
...Trot and Cap'n Bill were free from anxiety and care. Button-Bright never worried about anything. The Scarecrow, not being able to sleep, looked out of the window and tried to count the stars.