ha- I've heard most of those. I have dirt on everyone(music wise).
---
Did you hear about the bassist who was so out of tune his section noticed?
---
How many string bass players does it take to change a light bulb?
None; the piano player can do that with his left hand.
---
The audience at a piano recital were appalled when a telephone rang just off stage. Without missing a note the soloist glanced toward the wings and called, "If that's my agent, tell him I'm working!"
---
Small wonder we have so much trouble with air pollution in the world when so much of it has passed through saxophones.
---
How many trumpet players does it take to change a lightbulb?
Five. One to handle the bulb and four to tell him how much better they could have done it.
---
What did the drummer get on his IQ test?
Drool.
---
Did you hear about the time the bass player locked his keys in the car?
It took two hours to get the drummer out.
---
How do you get a guitar player to play softer?
Give him some sheet music.
---
even jokes about vocalists
---
A jazz musician dies and goes to heaven. He is told "Hey man, welcome! You have been elected to the Jazz All-Stars of Heaven--right up there with Satchmo, Miles, Django, all the greats. We have a gig tonight. Only one problem--God's girlfriend gets to sing."
---
BTW I play the Piano, the drums for my church, and I'm learning to play the sax. So what am I?
Too busy.
