What a long-winded joke.

Actually, it's a funny, factual bit of history. Some humour requires an attention span longer than one that would be necessary to understand dick and fart jokes. You'll grow into it.

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I wanted my half in the middle and I wound up on the edge.

The joke wasn't worth its length is all I'm saying.

And I disagree, is all I'm saying. Simply because it's not so much a joke as it is a humourous story. And it's true. That makes it a good read. It's a different type of humour. No punchline, per-se. It's like the difference between merlot and Yoo-Hoo. No harm, no foul.

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I wanted my half in the middle and I wound up on the edge.

I enjoy the story myself - I love crap like that. But I've just been told it is an urban legend. I don't want to look - I prefer to pretend it is true.

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"Jelly-belly gigglin, dancin and a-wigglin, honey that's the way I am!" Janice the Muppet

Look at me, I'm a joy-killing bastard: http://www.snopes.com/history/american/gauge.htm

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"And Wirthling isn't worth the paper he isn't printed on."

Judge declares X-men not Human!

In that case, Barbie can't be human. Obviously she is a mutant, how else would explain her bodily dimensions. C'mon, that huge rack with that itty-bitty waist.

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"Nothing expresses the brutal grandeur of rectal polyps and anal fistulae quite like the mother-tongue of Goethe."

This whole situation is ridiculously ironic.

Strange, though, I would never suspect that "human" action figures would require more taxes than "non-human" ones.

I saw that in the wallstreet journal. It took a few minitues to stop the "this is nonsense people wasting their time blah blah blah" to get a little irritated that the judge couldn't see how Professer X and the mutants are OBVIOUSLY human because their just advance versions of what we are... and also to speculate that he's right because technicly they're Homo Superior.

*fingers in ears* LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA *fingers in ears*

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"Jelly-belly gigglin, dancin and a-wigglin, honey that's the way I am!" Janice the Muppet

But does anyone know why Lionel trains are the size they are? What kind of freakish mutants were ever able to ride inside their tiny compartments?

Was there some sort of race of small, furry men who rode tiny plastic trains in circles? Was Stuart Little fiction, or FACT?

Whoever can answer these questions I will give a special surprise treat.

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Ham-fisted ham fisting.

When scientist shrink themselves to enter a human body they don't always enter through the mouth, sometimes they just get on a train (heh, A-Train) and drive up the anus.

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Batman created by Bob Kane

Time for your surprise!

Now, close your eyes...

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Ham-fisted ham fisting.

Ooh! I hope it's a penis!

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Batman created by Bob Kane

Fun with penises... Er... Um... I meant markers.

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"Nothing expresses the brutal grandeur of rectal polyps and anal fistulae quite like the mother-tongue of Goethe."

Cruelity Free S&M?

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"Nothing expresses the brutal grandeur of rectal polyps and anal fistulae quite like the mother-tongue of Goethe."

Oh Baby, I think I found my dream job.

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"Nothing expresses the brutal grandeur of rectal polyps and anal fistulae quite like the mother-tongue of Goethe."

Just thought I'd mention that I'm making another Button Men tournament.

Now, where did israphael and Big Evil Dan disappear to...

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"Only things I approve of should exist." -some guy on the internet

Is that like sperm-free wirthling?

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"Jelly-belly gigglin, dancin and a-wigglin, honey that's the way I am!" Janice the Muppet

A Dragon from China! but only 2 1/2 feet long...
http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&u=/ap/20030122/ap_on_sc/four_winged_dinosaur_1

Made in China

Ah... Scots... dead ones.

I blame teens from outerspace

Someone turned Splankling into a transvestite shooter target in a postal game!

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"Jelly-belly gigglin, dancin and a-wigglin, honey that's the way I am!" Janice the Muppet

Ha! Bush is a great kidder. I laughed all the way to the unemployment office.

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"You'll burn for this. Burn in jail!"

[quote]
Someone turned Splankling into a transvestite shooter target in a postal game![/quote]

Oh please I've included a Spankling skin in Quake III ever since it first came out. I would have a Kaufman skin too, but I'm having trouble rendering the cat. Once I do, it will be able to spit flaming hairballs.

P.S. You didn't even spell your own name right, you fool!

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"Nothing expresses the brutal grandeur of rectal polyps and anal fistulae quite like the mother-tongue of Goethe."