...got the bigger slice of pie when I clearly...

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It was such a waste of everyone’s time and money that even the Tokyo stadium’s rape robots apologized– something they were programmed specifically never to do.

... have a bigger appetite, not just for pie but also for...

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“It is only with the heart that one sees rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye.” - The Little Prince by Antoine de Saint-Exupéry (1945)

...pureed human degredation, topped with callous soullessness and a generous helping of pure hatred, plus some nutmeg to really bring out...

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peddling the funny around since 09/24/2002

the spicy bitterness that can only be found in third-world candies and semen from the finest racing dogs, which happen to...

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Making cheesy jokes in 5..4..3..2..poop.

...be on my lawn right now, running towards me and holy crap their teeth are bared and they're gowling and barking and slobbering in a way that they might actually be rabid and OH MY GOD THEY'RE GOING TO...

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peddling the funny around since 09/24/2002

...switch my long distance service...

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Insert Theme to Mannix here

...as revenge for what my grandfather did to their grandfathers at Wounded Knee, all those frozen years ago, and I remember being told about the time when my ancestors used their engines of war to...

[edited by Scyess on 01-10-08 at 12:01:54pm]

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"He was cursed with a horrorshow of a face, like Guiseppe Archbold doing a study of mollusk tumors."

... switch my damn long distance service yet again, but I really showed those bastards they couldn't get away with it this time by...

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“It is only with the heart that one sees rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye.” - The Little Prince by Antoine de Saint-Exupéry (1945)

...cutting out my cochlea with a butter knife, thus rendering all long-distance service useless, and proving that...

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what if nigger meant kite

some people actually dont know what a cochlea is and that at a glance, clive owen sort of resembles nicholas cage, which has nothing to do with johnny cage, or cage wrestling, or the fact that...

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Making cheesy jokes in 5..4..3..2..poop.

... you belong in a cage, provided brad has the rare opportunity to...

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“It is only with the heart that one sees rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye.” - The Little Prince by Antoine de Saint-Exupéry (1945)

...fish in the raging waters of the North Adriatic, by which I mean the North Adriatic River near Bozemon, Montanna, home of the famous...

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peddling the funny around since 09/24/2002

...Wagon Train Diner, where a family of twelve (kids extra) can dine for less than the price of a...

...set of gold dentures in Ethiopia, which really isn't that expensive when you start to think about the...

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It was such a waste of everyone’s time and money that even the Tokyo stadium’s rape robots apologized– something they were programmed specifically never to do.

thousands of slaves that were forced to mine that gold, no, the real cost is in the teeth that are carefully selected from....

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Making cheesy jokes in 5..4..3..2..poop.

... baby Rhesus monkeys, then the teeth are covered with gold and shipped off, leaving those poor baby monkeys with sore...

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“It is only with the heart that one sees rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye.” - The Little Prince by Antoine de Saint-Exupéry (1945)

...arms, because they spend all day banging coconuts against thinge to mash them up enough to swallow easily, which reminds me of that time...

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It was such a waste of everyone’s time and money that even the Tokyo stadium’s rape robots apologized– something they were programmed specifically never to do.

... I hired that octogenarian hooker who...

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peddling the funny around since 09/24/2002

... told me this story about puppies and a young bear, but I can't remember what the ending was like because...

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It was such a waste of everyone’s time and money that even the Tokyo stadium’s rape robots apologized– something they were programmed specifically never to do.

of the fact that she was an octogenarian hooker and that...

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Making cheesy jokes in 5..4..3..2..poop.

... anything she had to say was old news anyway, so I took another high-profile...

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“It is only with the heart that one sees rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye.” - The Little Prince by Antoine de Saint-Exupéry (1945)

...acting job - a little film called "Encino Man", where I...

...sold my last bit of artistic integrity for...

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peddling the funny around since 09/24/2002

....BOOBIES, as big as....

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Insert Theme to Mannix here

...I could manage, what with my back problems, and...