The topic is twofold. I would like at least one entry in each category, but the first one is the main one. The aesthetics of the second one will be tough given the limited backgrounds, but I am sure you clever monkeys can come up with something. The topics are:

World's Worst Thing to Say to Your Doctor

and

World's Worst Thing to Say to the Person in the Adjacent Bathroom Stall

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The giant three-phallused phallus of Uzbekistan will one day squirt the cosmic jizz of revenge all over Canada.