I visited Aretha Franklin's farm one summer, and there was a little horse coming out of a big horse! I said "WHAT'S GOING ON!!!" and she said "The mother horse is having a baby" and I said " Having a baby? WTF are you talking about?" She invited me into the farmhouse for some fresh biscuits and some Hebrew National salami, and told me all about that stuff (which I won't go into here!) and was really nice. When it was time to go, she asked me "What is your favorite album of mine?" and I said "Who are you?" and she said "I am Aretha Franklin." I sure liked her farm.

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Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

Can someone find out what this means to me? Because I have no idea.

Then you must be in one of your rare sober phases.

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I was gonna send a robot back in time, but I got high.

H-O-R-S-E Baby.

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ken.kaufman@gmail.com

I once shook hands with Abe Lincoln.

No, it's not what you're thinking.

Me and two buddies were returning home from Cincinnati after taking in a Reds game. We stopped at a rest area in Kentucky. Some guy dressed like Abraham Lincoln was standing outside in front of the restrooms. We shook his hand and two of us had our picture taken with him.

After we'd been back on the road about 10 minutes, my friend said, "Hey, Abe Lincoln stole my wallet!" Luckily, he was kidding. To this day, however, I don't know what Abe was doing at that rest area in Kentucky.

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Chicken Feather Bed Bugs Bunny Hop Sing Out Side Street Walker Texas Ranger Cookie Dough Boy Wonder Years