I was at a bar in a bowling alley tonight (they have karaoke there), and the bartender looked exactly like the forumusers drawing of gabe_billings.

I might have asked to lick his head if I hadn't been there with my boyfriend.

Wow, where'd that come from?

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I am a delicate fucking flower. https://beacons.ai/jesskent

Sid's Bowl-o-Rama, on west Eighth? That was me. Sometimes I run over to Nebraska to pursue my dream of being a bowling alley mixologist.

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100 pounds of shit in a 25 pound sack.

Um... I think a lot of people are bald. And have mustaches. Its in.

I'm not saying the bartender was bald and had a mustache. I'm saying he looked exactly like the picture. He was wearing the same shirt and everything.

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I am a delicate fucking flower. https://beacons.ai/jesskent

I feel sorry for the poor guy. It can't be easy going through life looking like that.

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"You'll burn for this. Burn in jail!"

I bet that bowling alley guy wonders why every donkey he sees runs away from him.

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This signature has performed an illegal operation and has been shut down.

Um, Clark, I don't think life as a horses ass would be a walk in the park either...

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A horse walks into a bar... the bartender says, "Hey, why the long face?"

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...Trot and Cap'n Bill were free from anxiety and care. Button-Bright never worried about anything. The Scarecrow, not being able to sleep, looked out of the window and tried to count the stars.

A polar bear walks into a pub, plonks both his hands on the bat and says, "I'll have a........................................................ beer, thanks."

The bartender replies, "Why the big paws?"

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This signature has performed an illegal operation and has been shut down.

A piece of string walks into a bar. The bartender says "I can't serve you: you're a piece of string! Get out of my bar!"
So the piece of string leaves, contorts his body into another shape and ruffles his hair. Then he re-enters the bar.
"Hey, aren't you a piece of string?" asks the barman.
"No," replies the string. "I'm a frayed knot."

I am officially sorry that I started this.

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...Trot and Cap'n Bill were free from anxiety and care. Button-Bright never worried about anything. The Scarecrow, not being able to sleep, looked out of the window and tried to count the stars.

A guy walks into a bar. The second guy ducked.

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100 pounds of shit in a 25 pound sack.

*A skeleton walks into a bar and orders a beer and a mop.

*A mushroom walks into a bar. The bartender says "Hey, we don't serve your kind here!" The mushroom says "Why not, I'm a fungi!"

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"Fascist Clay was my most favorite totalitarian boxer!" - Indie Rock Pete from Diesel Sweeties

A man walks into a bar, sits down, and orders a drink.
"Hey, nice tie!" comes out of nowhere. He looks up at the bartender to see if he had said anything, but since he was on the other side of the bar the man just ignores it.
"Hey! Nice shirt!" The man looks up but, again, the bartender is engaged elsewhere.
"Hey! Nice suit!" The man then calls the bartender over and asks him if he keeps talking to him.
"It's not me, it's the complimentary peanuts."

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"Fascist Clay was my most favorite totalitarian boxer!" - Indie Rock Pete from Diesel Sweeties