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8:40 AM September 11, 2001 WTC 1
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| Listen up cubicle zombies! A genie came to my apartment last night and offered me three wishes. | |
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| I am now the richest person on Earth; a sexual tyranosaur; and way more interesting than that guy from the Dos Equis commercials. | |
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| I wasn't even going to come in today but then I thought, "What the hell is the point of being awesome if you can't shove it in other people's faces?" | |
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