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  Hecker  

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My comics rarely, if ever, have any basis in reality.
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by Hecker
1-15-01
After spreading herpes to hundreds of neighborhood children, Timmy comes to a conclusion...
It seems I can't give these herpes away, so it looks like time for a good old scratching contest. Me and you Herpes, in the scratching ring!
It's on whitey!
But during the contest, Timmy realizes something...
Scratch scratch scratch scratchitty scrat-scrat scritchity scratch. Man, that's got a good beat to it.
Scritchitty scritchitty scratchitty scratch. Shut up and keep scratching whitey!
And so they form a rap duo. Sir Scratchalot, and Scratchmasta T. And now everybody's happy.
My genitals have shrunk by 3 inches, and my fingernails are covered in scabs, but the money's good.
Yeah it hurts to be cool, but it's a good kind of hurt.

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