Rosie O'Donnell was hospitalized today after becoming "slightly" insane due to her inability to obtain a "chicken fat taco" from Taco Bell. She reportedly eats of them several daily.
O'Donnell is said to be addcited to this 'elite', expensive, and formerly secret food item, which is currently unavailable due to a nationwide shortage.
The shortage is blamed on an explosion at a chicken fat processing plant in Southern California. Preliminary results point to a missile hit, possibly Russian.
The Russian military said it could neither confirm or deny this but would sent T-Shirts, pens and coupons to all affected. A spokesperson for Rosie claims "sinister forces are at work"....
You know, "Sinister Forces" would be a good porn star name for you.
