Sharkie_Malarkey  

Me being the semi-famous philosopher that i am, i was givenmy very own advice column, just like dear abby! here's a letter from loveless in seattle:

"Dear Mr. Malarkey. Recently I have had a strange attraction to dead people. Just thought of their dead, maggot ridden decaying flesh turns me on."

"I've been hanging around in graveyards every night for the past 4 weeks. I'm actually contemplating digging one up. can you help me break this habit?"

"dear loveless: it's just a phase."