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| I soon discovered that eating was an inefficient way of gaining weight, so I had a special machine constructed. | |
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| The machine is hooked directly up to the fat chambers on my body. As my body gains mass, the machine gets more power. | |
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| It allows me to gain weight exponentially by sucking exponentially. I'll reach 730 million tons in to time! | |
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| So, while I'm talking to you, my body sucks. It just sucks and sucks and sucks and sucks... | |
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| I KNEW this was going nowhere as soon as I got here. Why do I even try... | |
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| ...and sucks and sucks and sucks and sucks and... | |
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