Welcome to our country. We love guns, booze, and artery clogging junk food.
We have so much food we hold contests where we pig out, cook it up and judge it then throw it away, or just plain smash it with a mallet because... comedy!
Oh, I was born in the Hudson river, son. You see, my mother had an abortion. They thought I was dead and threw me into the trash, which eventually made it's way into the polluted waters.
