Dude... I discovered the secret to success. I'll let you in on it for free...
Groovy!
I met some guy named Lew C. Ford (or something like that). Anywayz... He said that all I have to do is sign over my soul to him and I can have all the success and fame I want!
Uh... You might want to read the fine print before you-
OUCH!
-burn! (Which reminds me: I should go home and consult the Ouiji Board regarding my future...)
