Look. This isn't how I thought tonight would go, but I'm drunk. What do you say we salvage the rest of the night and go back to your place? I'm sure there's a lot of hot candle wax we can work with.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'm a born-again virgin. Although I've had sex before, I've taken a pledge not to have sex again until I'm married.
But you saw my video! You knew what to expect. This is false advertising. Why did you even come out with me tonight?
I was hoping to convert you.
And I was hoping you would convert into at least a size 10, but I guess we'll both be leaving disappointed.
