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| Chapter 1: Opening the Gate of the White Picket Fence Surrounding the Yard of Your Dream House. | |
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| "Step 1: Time travel to the '50s. Step 2: Punch yourself in the face for living in a fantasy world and, therefore, never allowing yourself to be happy." | |
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| "Step 3: Stop reading this worthless book (did you notice the rest of the pages were blank?) and go do something fun." | |
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| Ah, here it is. "How to Build a Time Machine In Three Imaginary Steps, You Idiot". | |
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| I'm sure that last part's meant to be motivational. | |
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