Distinguished delegates of the UN: I have good news for you. I have determined the mathematical function representing the probability of the end of the world.
It is a smooth, regular cyclical curve, and we're nearing its low point right now. Rejoice! The ultimate doom is far off. Allow me to illustrate...
I am unable to share in our previous speaker's optimism. What he presented today is indisputably a Sine of the Apocalypse!
