This is a story about a boy named Penfold, who has a normal uneventful childhood until his sixth birthday, when his father's sister disappears, never to be found.
Then on his first day of third grade, his mother's brother's wife vanishes without a trace. Again, the trail is cold.
At the big family reunion at his grandparent's 50th anniversary, Penfold notices that all of ....
You haven't even opened "The Pirates of Penzance," have you!