SaladBarBlues  

The other day I was talking to my mom and she said to me, "Danny, I've been keeping a horrible secret from you"

She said, "I've been whoring myself to all of your teachers so that you'd pass all of your classes"

I was a little startled at first...

but then I realized my name's not Danny, it's Preston.

I was in the wrong house, I'm still failing all my classes, and that woman's been making me sleep in her bed for the past three weeks.

Life sucks.