Honey, I started a new job today. I'm working at Chiquita now!

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“It is only with the heart that one sees rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye.” - The Little Prince by Antoine de Saint-Exupéry (1945)

This is for stringing me along and not telling me you're a big fucking 'mo!

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"Jelly-belly gigglin, dancin and a-wigglin, honey that's the way I am!" Janice the Muppet

"Honey, your brain tumor is showing again, let me fix it for you..."

It's stuck on my nipple clamp! Hold still you fucking poof!

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"Jelly-belly gigglin, dancin and a-wigglin, honey that's the way I am!" Janice the Muppet

"Dear, let this be a lesson for you, when you run out of hair gel, don't use your cum as a substitute..."

How the "Hair Club For Men" gets their supply.

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I has a flavor!

This was considered porn in the 50s.

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I ate a hooker half a bottle of knife.

Here we can see the grooming habits of the upper classes.

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Dad was flammable

I consider it porn right now. Oh yeah.

"And then, after I wash my hands exactly 72 times, I need to pull your hair. Hard. Pulllll it... pulllll it.... pulllll it..."

"Stop that, you crazy bitch!"

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I wanted my half in the middle and I wound up on the edge.

"Oooo baby, you don't do this kind of stuff with my other head..."

--Although the process was quite painful, Rock Hudson's sister was very gifted at pulling clumps of dried jism from his hair.

--woman "This is for buying me that epilady for Christmas you prick!!!"

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At least im still funny .....looking. http://www.carrionfields.com