Look, a fist!

---
If it wasn't for bad luck I wouldn't have no luck at all. D'OH!

The Kerry-Edwards weigh-in gets heated.

---
I has a flavor!

"Next person to point out that I'm not as angry or as hyper as Dean gets a f*cking smack! Wooo!"

---
Please replace the handset, and try again.

"No, dammit, I won't pull your finger!"

---
What others say about boorite!

John Kerry shook his fist in defiance today when Santa Claus confronted him with accusations of fashion misdemeanors.

---
The giant three-phallused phallus of Uzbekistan will one day squirt the cosmic jizz of revenge all over Canada.

"... but my favorite comic is the one where the exploding dog guy does this."

---
ken.kaufman@gmail.com

The Crimson Commandos were called out last night when John Kerry and several rambunctious students climbed up on a table to stage a 'Dead Poet's Society'-like protest against criticism of overzealous Democratic hopefuls.

---
The giant three-phallused phallus of Uzbekistan will one day squirt the cosmic jizz of revenge all over Canada.

Kerry makes jack-off gesture at protester.

---
What others say about boorite!

"And so I fisted her like this..."

---
I has a flavor!

Rock beats scissors.

---
AFROMANS MOVE

"Shake harder, boy!"

Hopelessly deadlocked, Kerry and Dean decide to settle things with a game of Craps.

---
I was gonna send a robot back in time, but I got high.

"The coin is in *that* hand!"

Frustrated, Kerry decided that Dean's press coverage was getting far too high, so he upped the ante. It all started as a copy of the "SKREE!" everyone's heard, but it escelated into manrape, fireworks, and pelicans being forced to do unnatural things with teddy bears.

This has reportedly garnered a 2% increase for the hopeful.

---
Do you want ants? Because that's how you get ants.

"Next person to confuse me for Jim Carrey gets SSSmoked!"

"CHOO CHOO! Here comes the ho train!"

---
Poop.

The drunken game of political spin-the-bottle nearly ended before it began when Ted Kennedy made off with the wine cellar. Luckily, they improvised, and spin-the-proletariate led to Kerry and Sharpton in the broom closet.

---
I ate a hooker half a bottle of knife.

I do NOT ride a crotch rocket MOTHERFUCKER.

---
"Jelly-belly gigglin, dancin and a-wigglin, honey that's the way I am!" Janice the Muppet