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Do you want ants? Because that's how you get ants.

"Oh, now that you've gotten hitched you're too good to bust 'em out for the camera!"

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I was gonna send a robot back in time, but I got high.

"Okay, now when i file for divorce, i want that one, and that one, and that one , ooooh, and whos that stud over there in the white outfit"

"Thats the priest"

"Damn, we need to have kids so he comes and visits"

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"Life Sucks, Then you Die. The bit inbetween isnt very funny either"

Oh geez, my fist still smells like the groom and the bachelor party was last Friday!
I sure hope no one brings a bloodhound to this reception.

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Love is like oxygen. You can take it up the ass, but it's way better in your mouth.

You boffed how many waiters so far? Five?

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"Jelly-belly gigglin, dancin and a-wigglin, honey that's the way I am!" Janice the Muppet

Stavros, that burp smelled horrible

"Whew! Johnny, break out the lysol! I told you what wedding cake does to my bowels!"

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The giant three-phallused phallus of Uzbekistan will one day squirt the cosmic jizz of revenge all over Canada.