"C'mon and sniff me, you know you wanna!"

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Poop.

When I was about 18 months old, I super-glued my lips shut.

What's that say about how much my mother loves me?

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dcomposed:11-06-05: If I was a viking invading your village, you'd be the first to get raped.
Crabby: 10/5/06: i would love to feed you fresh fruit while bathing you.

Dammit! The glue is running.

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I was gonna send a robot back in time, but I got high.