Recently I made and lost a bet that involved the arrival date of a shipment of certain items via the U.S. Post Office. At stake was a bowl of gravy and my digestive system.

The outcome is presented here via dramatic recreation:
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It doesn't seem so repulsive.

MMMM... Thanksgiving-y.

The taste is piquant with just a hint of lard.

Not gonna' puke. Not gonna' puke. Not gonna'

Ohh. There's a lot more clinging to the sides than I thought!

[b]Alright! I'm a big Jackass! Three Cheers For King Loser! Hooray! Hooray! Hooray!

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Ham-fisted ham fisting.

You had to have gravy shipped specifically to you?

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Poop.

OMFG...you had to have horrifying deconstructive plastic surgery just because you lost a bet?

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Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

You idiot! You were supposed to smoke a bowl of 'Grade A'.

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I was gonna send a robot back in time, but I got high.

I want to lose that bet :(

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Batman created by Bob Kane

It's no gravy.

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Get Your War On

Gravy is great on mashed potatoes. Or fries. Or fried chicken. Or biscuits. Hell, I just like gravy. Mmm, mmm, mmm.

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I has a flavor!

Gravy is good on almost anything that is salty. Hamburgers and gravy is awesome. I've actually made a gravy and mushroom soup before. That was amazingly good.

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Do you want ants? Because that's how you get ants.

You dribbled some on your chin.

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Dad was flammable

Oh, it was gravy all right.

Butt gravy!

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The giant three-phallused phallus of Uzbekistan will one day squirt the cosmic jizz of revenge all over Canada.

From a butt!

Kentucky Fried Chicken gravy, now that's the good stuff. I had a friend who worked for them and tried to explain to me all of the gross shit that was in there, but you know what? I don't care. KFC gravy is all gravy, baby.

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Peeing sitting down is the gift you give yourself.

KFC gravy on KFC mashed potatoes is so damn good it hurts. I think I mean that literally.

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The giant three-phallused phallus of Uzbekistan will one day squirt the cosmic jizz of revenge all over Canada.

I've dipped my chicken, my biscuit, my french fries, and have even considered dipping my penis in that gravy before. It's that good.

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Peeing sitting down is the gift you give yourself.

Wasn't it supposed to have been even better back when Colonel Sanders used to go around to the different KFC's and personally kick asses?

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Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

I have to respect any guy who forces people to call him by his military rank years after he is no longer in the armed forces.

KFC Employee: "Oh hello Mr. Sanders, I--"
Colonel Sanders: "You will refer to me by my rank and seriel, private."
KFC employee: "Excuse me?"
Colonel Sanders: "I did not fight in the great Chicken War only to be referred to as 'Mr' Sanders. I am COLONEL Sanders, soldier!"
KFC employee: "Dude, whatever."

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Peeing sitting down is the gift you give yourself.

The episode of Family Guy is the best exponent of KFC related humour.

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Please replace the handset, and try again.

Did you know that Dave Thomas of Wendy's was also a Kentucky Colonel? He just didn't make it a permanent part of his image like Harlan Sanders did.

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Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

That's nothing. Ronald McDonald was a four star general.

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I was gonna send a robot back in time, but I got high.

Ronald McDonald was only a general in the sodomy brigade.

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Poop.

One of my brother-in-law's great ideas is to sell gravy skins like fruit roll-ups. Pudding skins too.

Selling skin. A great American tradition continues.

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I will rate you hard, and unendingly.

My next bet will involve drinking an entire fifth of Southern Comfort in one sitting. That is, if I lose.

On an entirely unrelated sidenote, I was discussing a co-worker named Gabriel with my mate the other day. She doesn't get along with this kid too well, and after I referred to him as "Gabe" she remarked, "I hate Gabe! And I knew a Gabe back home I hated too! In fact, there were a couple Gabe's I've known, and they all were dicks. I hate all Gabes!"

So I pose this question: Do you think my lady would hate OUR Gabe? I mean, c'mon, it's GABE! Everyone likes Gabe!

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Ham-fisted ham fisting.

What about Wirthling?

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Poop.

Wirthling is a floating head. He doesn't hate anyone or anything.

Except salsa.

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Do you want ants? Because that's how you get ants.