Take the required bit of dialogue, insert into a dialogue or thought bubble, and start hitting the random comic layout button. When inspiration hits, bring it back.

The dialogue for #5:

Conspiracy!

That's it! When inspiration hits, you can add to the dialogue/thought balloon, if you wish, but Conspiracy! must appear all by itself in a sentence.

Bonus situation - walking into the condom aisle at your local pharmacy and seeing a magnifier hung there for the use of the patrons. I just saw that today, and there's got to be a joke in there somewhere.

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You can take the heart out of the hooker but you can't take the hooker out of the heart. -- Frankenhooker