Does the carpet match the drapes?

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You can take the heart out of the hooker but you can't take the hooker out of the heart. -- Frankenhooker

He looks like a real pussy

I was just minding my own business at the Chinese restaurant when somebody yells 'Foodfight!'

I have a job interview in 20 minutes, get me a fucking napkin.

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GOVT. Warning: Do not smoke around children they will badger you for fags.

Yo Medusa, your blind date is here.

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"He was cursed with a horrorshow of a face, like Guiseppe Archbold doing a study of mollusk tumors."

"Sorry, Yul Brynner, but it's really not the same thing as Janet Jackson's album cover, now is it?"

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I has a flavor!

I don't always forget to shave, but when I do it looks like I glued feral cats to my face.

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It was such a waste of everyone’s time and money that even the Tokyo stadium’s rape robots apologized– something they were programmed specifically never to do.

See no Dawgies , Hear no Dawgies , Speak no Dawgies ... WILL SOMEONE GET THESE FUCKING CATS OFF MY FACE!

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"Life Sucks, Then you Die. The bit inbetween isnt very funny either"

I CAN HAZ MANWICH?

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Chicken Feather Bed Bugs Bunny Hop Sing Out Side Street Walker Texas Ranger Cookie Dough Boy Wonder Years

Shortly after this experimental cat phase, the artist produced the legendary "Dogs playing poker". 

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"Life Sucks, Then you Die. The bit inbetween isnt very funny either"

Yul Brenner displays why cats are more popular in Egypt than Rogaine.

The landlord eyed the strangely-hirsute Mr. Katz, suspicious that he was somehow sidestepping the building's stringent "No Pets" policy.

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Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

BEN PURR!

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Chicken Feather Bed Bugs Bunny Hop Sing Out Side Street Walker Texas Ranger Cookie Dough Boy Wonder Years