dang this is such a obvious cheap post.

Merry Christmas to you, too.

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I wanted my half in the middle and I wound up on the edge.

Cheap, yes. But then, so is Christmas, the damned commercial holiday that it is. So, enjoy your presents and your food and your family and Whatchu Talkin' 'Bout, Everyone!

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Did we evolve from apes, or the other way around?

I got the excellent opportunity to watch my Mum drink too much and spew all over my Aunt's doorstep,

best . Christmas . ever

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Dad was flammable

[quote]I got the excellent opportunity to watch my Mum drink too much and spew all over my Aunt's doorstep,

best . Christmas . ever[/quote]

Ah, Scots...

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"And Wirthling isn't worth the paper he isn't printed on."

I found fuzzyman's Country Christmas album selections quite amusing. Perhaps we can come up with some more...

Here's fuzzy's list:

[list]
[*]"I'll be Home for Christmas If the Truck Don't Break Down"
[*]"We Three Kings Beat Your Two Pair"
[*]"Santa Claus Is Coming To Town So Hide The Grits"
[*]"Go Tell It On The Mountain Cuz Ya Ain't Welcome In The Valley"
[*]"I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus So I Shot Him"
[*]"Silver Bells Hangin' From My Cow"
[*]"Silent Nights Are Really Depressing Since My Wife Left Me And I Burned Down The House"
[*]"Carol Of The Bells Killed Zamfir Of The Pan Flute"
[/list]

Here are some more suggestions:

[list]
[*]"It's Beginning to Look a Lot Like Eviction"
[*]"Deck the Trailer with Old, Used Hubcaps"
[*]"All I Want for Christmas is My Two Front Teeth, but I Wouldn't Mind Getting the Rest of 'em, Neither"
[*]"Chitlins Roasting on an Open Fire"
[*]"Grandma Got Run Over by a John Deere"
[*]"The Twelve Days of County Lockup I Got For Knockin' That Bitch Out"
[*]"White Power Christmas"
[/list]

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"And Wirthling isn't worth the paper he isn't printed on."

[quote]"It's Beginning to Look a Lot Like Eviction"
[/quote]

[quote]I found fuzzyman's Country Christmas album selections quite amusing. Perhaps we can come up with some more...

Here's fuzzy's list:

[list]
[*]"I'll be Home for Christmas If the Truck Don't Break Down"
[*]"We Three Kings Beat Your Two Pair"
[*]"Santa Claus Is Coming To Town So Hide The Grits"
[*]"Go Tell It On The Mountain Cuz Ya Ain't Welcome In The Valley"
[*]"I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus So I Shot Him"
[*]"Silver Bells Hangin' From My Cow"
[*]"Silent Nights Are Really Depressing Since My Wife Left Me And I Burned Down The House"
[*]"Carol Of The Bells Killed Zamfir Of The Pan Flute"
[/list]

Here are some more suggestions:

[list]
[*]"It's Beginning to Look a Lot Like Eviction"
[*]"Deck the Trailer with Old, Used Hubcaps"
[*]"All I Want for Christmas is My Two Front Teeth, but I Wouldn't Mind Getting the Rest of 'em, Neither"
[*]"Chitlins Roasting on an Open Fire"
[*]"Grandma Got Run Over by a John Deere"
[*]"The Twelve Days of County Lockup I Got For Knockin' That Bitch Out"
[*]"White Power Christmas"
[/list][/quote]

Here's some more:

[list]
[*]"What Child is This, 'Casue it Sure as Shootin' Ain't Mine, You Whore"
[*]"Little Drunkard Boy"
[/list]

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"And Wirthling isn't worth the paper he isn't printed on."

"Rudolph the red nosed raindeer, he got in a fight"
"Little Elian boy"

Rudolph the Redneck Reindeer
Crosses Burning in an Open Fire
O Come Y'all Faithful
I Saw Three Trucks A-Rolling
Breaker One-Nine, Do Ya Hear What I Hear?

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ken.kaufman@gmail.com

Speaking of white trash, here is the uggliest holiday porn ever.

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"Jelly-belly gigglin, dancin and a-wigglin, honey that's the way I am!" Janice the Muppet