Today as I was doing the rounds on my normal websites someone at a metal posted a link to this briliant piece of photoediting...

This got me to thinking about the contest, so I fired up the ol' photoshop program and decided that a contest where Black Metal musicians are put in decidedly non-black metal situations, such as this...

...would be seriously fucking funny, so that's what this contest will be about. Here are some links to Black Metal picture galleries to get you started.

Here's one... (follow the "Mortiis" link)
And another
Yet another
They're everywhere, folks

The contest ends on Teusday evening in about 72 hours. Good luck all, and may the dark powers of Satan guide thy hands in your unholy efforts. In the words of "Profane Lord TOBOROTH," *SCRRRREAAARRRRARARRARRRERERRRRRR!!!!*

Vince from Sevendust greets his college roommate Barney with a hug.

---
Batman created by Bob Kane

---
"And Wirthling isn't worth the paper he isn't printed on."

---
"And Wirthling isn't worth the paper he isn't printed on."

[quote]
Here's one... (follow the "Mortiis" link)[/quote]

Argh, the link didn't come up the way I wanted. first click on "Picture Galleries," THEN click "Mortiis."

im so ahamed of that poor recreation but i have kids running round me

---
Who knows what fear lurks in the hearts of men? MIKE BOBSICO KNOWS! And if you give him a decent tip when he delivers your mail , he might tell you.

This security camera image was captured mere moments before the Pope's untimely demise. Fidel Castro had no comment about the incident.

---
...Trot and Cap'n Bill were free from anxiety and care. Button-Bright never worried about anything. The Scarecrow, not being able to sleep, looked out of the window and tried to count the stars.

---
This signature has performed an illegal operation and has been shut down.

Great stuff guys, I'm rolling here!

By the way, DexX... shouldn't you be doing something about your sig now that you're back among the civilized?

---
"And Wirthling isn't worth the paper he isn't printed on."

For some reason I think that combining these guys with the Pope is hilarious.

---
...Trot and Cap'n Bill were free from anxiety and care. Button-Bright never worried about anything. The Scarecrow, not being able to sleep, looked out of the window and tried to count the stars.

after a long day of playing childrens concerts, I relax with an ice cold fosters.

"Fosters, It's Australian for beer."

---
Batman created by Bob Kane

---
"Jelly-belly gigglin, dancin and a-wigglin, honey that's the way I am!" Janice the Muppet

Well, it's time to pick a winner and you didn't make it easy. First, here are the honorables...

Wirthling -- The Sound of Music Starring Lord Athgaar... Changing the billing was a nice touch.

Skagg -- KISS isn't exactly Black Metal, but they look enough the part to get away with using them. Classic stuff even if you don't think it's up to your standard.

DexX -- Skeet Mortiis... Dear god, I nearly choked I was laughing so hard.

Fuzzyman -- Is that real leather? Classic. Excellent use of Mortiis.

In the end though, this was the one that did it for me...

[quote]
This security camera image was captured mere moments before the Pope's untimely demise. Fidel Castro had no comment about the incident.[/quote]
That looks eerily authentic, and was incredibly hillarious. Congratulations MAGNUS CALIGULA FUZZYTHON! Let us sacrifice a goat in your name and carry onward to the next contest!

goddamnit, i never get an honerable mention. do I suck that much?

---
Batman created by Bob Kane

You're certainly not really an Australian. Aussies don't drink Fosters - we export that shit.

---
This signature has performed an illegal operation and has been shut down.

I know, i just saw an add on another site where it said "Foster, Australian for beer." and I was looking for a picture of beer in google image search and fosters came up. and I am Australian.

---
Batman created by Bob Kane

Have you Down Under guys seen the TV ads they run in the U.S. to sell Fosters? Some of them very entertaining.

---
Vulgarity is simply the conduct of others. -Oscar Wilde

The "Keeper" one is pretty funny. The calamari one is a bit dumb... throw some special effects at an ad and hope it turns out funny. Calamari is an Italian word (and dish) anyway.

There was a Fosters ad campaign run over here during the Olympics which was really good, except for the fact that it advertised a dodgy beer. It ran something like "I don't have a kangaroo for a pet. I don't wrestle crocodiles... etc" then started on the things we _are_ - culturally diverse, outdoor lovers, etc. There was a fantastic parody sent around AUssie email inboxes afterward. It was a cynical (but fairly accurate) update of the ad, and ended with the penultimate line from the real ad "I believe that Australians brew the best beer in the world!" but appended "Except for Fosters - we export that shit."

The _real_ Aussie beer is VB - Victoria Bitter. (Make sure you listen to the ad - an Australian icon! *laugh*)

Of course, this is all academic to me, since I don't like beer. :)

---
This signature has performed an illegal operation and has been shut down.

The whole point of that ad campaign is that everything in Australia is bigger, tougher, etc. (just like the Crocadile Dundee "That's not a knife, this is" bit). So it's not a matter of what the dish is or what the word origin is ("calamari" is also Greek terminology, though who stole it from whom I have no idea). Rather, the point is that that's a nice quiet plate of squid to an Aussie.

Likewise here. Every now and then Pisswasser, I mean Budweiser, comes out with a decent commercial, but they usually have nothing to do with the product being hawked.

I'm still partial to Cooper's. That stuff's delicious!

---
ken.kaufman@gmail.com

Yeah, I have friends who treat themselves to a Cooper's every now and again. My housemate's favourite to treat himself with is a good old Crownie - a Carlton Crown.

Myself, I drink Strongbow cider while others drink beer. The fact that it has 25% more alcohol than beer doesn't stop people telling me it's a poof's/girl's drink.

---
This signature has performed an illegal operation and has been shut down.

Whatever happened to the Aussie locksmith add?

oops, i guess i never read the word black in the briefing, but still

HONORABLE MENTION FOR 5 MIUTE KNOCK-UP

its always the way, spend ages making your finest work yet and nobody cares, bang something together as youre eating a pasty with one hand and it gets on the front page of b3ta

---
Who knows what fear lurks in the hearts of men? MIKE BOBSICO KNOWS! And if you give him a decent tip when he delivers your mail , he might tell you.

kaufman drinks white wine spritzers

---
Batman created by Bob Kane