My friend and I are heading back to Australia this summer, provided I rob an armored car or win the lottery. He insists we go to Perth, I want to go to Melbourne or Sydney. Having been to all three, I like Melbourne for the trip, but he's stuck on the idea of visiting family in Perth, even if it is on the ass-end of the continent, as far away from everything else as you can be.

I'm not insulting Perth, it was very pretty last time I was there, but I want to DO something with my vacation if it's at all possible.

So ten reasons to go to Melbourne instead of Perth. In 50 words or less, double spaced.

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HAH! GORILLA, right there!

Reasons to go to Perth - Absolutely stunning coastline and other natural beauty within a relatively short drive.

Reasons not to go to Perth - Fucking long way from everything that is non-Perth.

Reasons to go to Melbourne - Night life, cafes, theatre, restaurants, lotsa cool tourist attractions, nice coastline and other natural beauty spots within a fairly short drive.

Reasons not to go to Melbourne - Sydney is more fun.

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This signature has performed an illegal operation and has been shut down.

Reasons to go to Perth, Scotland - quite close to some non-Perth things.

Reasons not to go to Perth, Scotland - Everything except the above.

reason to go to perth - suicide bomber.

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I like big nuts and I can not lie!

10 - Beaches are for dipshits.
09 - Scenery, schmenery!
08 - Chicks in Sydney use makeup.
07 - Beer has to be flown in from other coast.
06 - People think your postcards are from Scotland. Assume you've gone batshit mad.
05 - Nobody ever writes: "I'm in Perth! WooHoo!"
04 - It's PERTH, for fuck's sake.
03 - Internet in Perth made up of Post-It notes and carrier pigeons.
02 - Chicks in Sydney dig those foreign accents.
01 - All the hookers in Perth are kangaroos in babushkas.

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I wanted my half in the middle and I wound up on the edge.

bunnerabb you are most assuredly the man (or woman). I think you've just won this argument for me.

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HAH! GORILLA, right there!

I know it's not the answer you want but hey. My sister is taking a year off in Austrailia, she's been in Sydney and loved it, then went to Melbourne but only for about a week, she really hated it, it was too expensive compared to Sydney and she just didn't like it. She is now in Perth and is loving it more than when she was in Sydney and is acutually saying "I'm in Perth WooHoo!"

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I am not 16 going on not 17, I know that I'm naive.

Your sister is even more demented than you.

Melbourne is cheaper than Sydney - hotels, rent, food, everything.

Sydney is the most expensive place to live in the whole Southern Hemisphere. This is a documented fact.

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This signature has performed an illegal operation and has been shut down.

I don't know, maybe it's because she got a job quicker therefore had money. She didn't like Melbourne as a place, and I think she did have trouble getting a job there too, making it appear more expensive.

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I am not 16 going on not 17, I know that I'm naive.