I composed some sex haikus while chatting in #stripcreator and thought I'd share them...

a surge of energy
two bodies become as one
I'm on the wet spot

I am going down
to linger on her sweet spot
pubes stuck in my teeth

Excited, I drive
"Deeper! Deeper!" she begs me
I am already done

our love is modern
it transcends all tradition
can I fuck your friends?

you play my flute well
but now that the playing's done
there's spooge in your hair

I let my wife know
my fantasy of threesomes
I sleep on the couch

you know how I said
maybe I'm bisexual
well, honey, I'm gay

Please add your own...

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"And Wirthling isn't worth the paper he isn't printed on."

my wife wants to fuck
but I'm on #stripcreator
I sleep on the couch

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"And Wirthling isn't worth the paper he isn't printed on."

my whore wants money
are traveler's checks OK?
Guido kicked my ass

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"And Wirthling isn't worth the paper he isn't printed on."

My pulse quickening,
Then comes a loud popping sound.
My girlfriend deflates.

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Life is a lot like getting mugged; you get your kicks, you take your punches, and when it's over, someone else gets your cash.

YOU STOLE MY IDEA!!! I was going to make sexhaiku.com! (probably how you stole the idea)

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Batman created by Bob Kane

Put down that crack pipe
Why don't you want to have sex?
One word--impotence

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"And Wirthling isn't worth the paper he isn't printed on."

Yes, I must admit
I stole dcom's idea
I still won't fuck him

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"And Wirthling isn't worth the paper he isn't printed on."

I made a haiku
The teacher said it sucked 'cause
the last line had too many syllables

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:\

wirthling is an ass
not skydiving for his wife
/me shakes his fist hard

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:\

"The revolution is dead
Let's go to bed"
I said.

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Please replace the handset, and try again.

wirthling won't fuck me
I try so hard to impress
You hurt me tonight

If you were to hurt
With the hurt would come pleasure
That you would hurt me

You just mean so much
I can't express in haiku
I'll write a sonnet

The depth of pleasure, most joyous of ways
Only one could provide so severe
Married to a woman, but the service of gays
Proves at least a percentage queer
I heard you mention something last week to your wife
If I recall you claimed bisexual
The amount of phallic symbols you have in your life
To not see that she would be a fool
I have something to tell you, it won't be easy
I have some bad news about your girl
At the best of times, she's still looking sleasy
But what I saw this time made me hurl
She's fucking your brother, It's easy to see
You must loose the bitch. come sleep with me

Not a real sonnet
I don't know how to write them
But at least I tried

Well it was a lie
She is not really cheating
I just want you so

If I can't have you
Then I don't want anything
End it all right now

This is your last chance
Come and fuck me or I die
Help me out here, Dave

See, I called you Dave
Trying to be like your wife
Will you like me now?

If that won't do it
I can always look like her
I'll get a boob job

Or maybe I won't
I know you like small boobies
So I will remain

My boobs are so small
And almost non-existent
Do you love me now?

You're breaking my heart
Nothing I do pleases you
I've no will to live

---
Batman created by Bob Kane

[quote]wirthling is an ass
not skydiving for his wife
/me shakes his fist hard[/quote]

/me would have made "joshw shakes his fist hard", which is six-eight syllables (depending on pronounciation), ignoring the joshw would make four.

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Batman created by Bob Kane

[quote]
Or maybe I won't
I know you like small boobies
So I will remain
[/quote]

"O sweet, small boobies.
Remind me of my bird."
Said Jes.

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Please replace the handset, and try again.

do the dishes or
you won't get laid anytime
in the near future

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What others say about boorite!

what to do? have sex
or watch this film I rented
starring Russell Crowe

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What others say about boorite!

i watch jes lawson
disobey rules of haiku
ruining thread for all

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www.bradsucks.net

trapped in a corner
telescoping red phallus
do not turn around

thy rotor turbines
shan't generate gravitons
by themselves, my love

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...Trot and Cap'n Bill were free from anxiety and care. Button-Bright never worried about anything. The Scarecrow, not being able to sleep, looked out of the window and tried to count the stars.

jes's sex partners
are not all farm animals
oops I meant they are

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What others say about boorite!

"What are the rules
of haiku?" I ask.
I don't know them :-(

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Please replace the handset, and try again.

Count the syllables,
Five Seven Five are the rules
for you to follow.

The asiangirls say,
"Sucky sucky, five dollars;
Me love you long time."

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Life is a lot like getting mugged; you get your kicks, you take your punches, and when it's over, someone else gets your cash.

Never did I laugh
so hard while reading this page.
You guys are so smart.

I am no good at
making haikus on the fly.
My work sucks so hard.

But I, nonetheless,
will try to make a good one
so here I go now:

The devil said thus,
"Your mother sucks cock in Hell!"
Hell sounds none too bad.

Okay, I confess.
I ripped of The Exorcist.
I said I was bad.

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If it wasn't for bad luck I wouldn't have no luck at all. D'OH!

By making Haikus
it has removed any doubt
that we are all geeks.

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Dad was flammable

metahaiku

my teenaged cock throbs.
A touch and I am finished.
Prematurely.

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ken.kaufman@gmail.com

metametahaiku

I

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What others say about boorite!